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Tonight didn't go as planned

I have not felt good all day but I have been trying to fight my way through it.

I was able to make the chili Mac for lunch/dinner but as the day went by I just wasn't feeling better. I was still getting very dizzy and lightheaded every time I stood up.

As some of you know our daughter struggles with changes in her schedule and I was supposed to make a apple dump cake tonight, her idea. I couldn't let her down so I was going to make this for her no matter what. I did my best to hide the fact that I wasn't feeling good but she noticed.

We are all sitting outside watching the games and she comes over and says I was thinking that it would be okay if we had s'mores tonight instead of the dump cake. I forgot the boys wouldn't be here to try it and I think they would really like it.

Are you sure, I know you were excited I said. I felt horrible. I knew exactly why she did this.

Yeah Dad, I want us all to try it together. I felt so horrible. She was so excited to try this cake and because of me she changed her mind. She shouldn't have to do this because I don't feel good. Way to go me.

So we decided we'd have s'mores during halftime.

I don't remember much after that. I sat next to Joel and I guess I feel asleep. I missed the royals game, I missed the Chief's game and I missed s'mores. I slept through the whole evening.

I really hate letting my family down like this.

Now everyone is asleep and I'm awake, I feel like crap. And I know I won't be able to sleep at all.
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A lesson I’ve been trying to learn myself is that it can be incredibly unfair not to sometimes allow others to be of service. People NEED to feel needed, your daughter included. I understand her struggles with change but I can’t imagine she would have felt good about your pushing through to make her a cake when you were feeling so sick. Which is why she stepped up to let you know it wasn’t necessary. Give her that, it’s not a bad thing. It’s a part of developing empathy and good character. And please don’t be so hard on yourself. That’s not healthy for anyone.
Cigarguy · M
@OlderSometimesWiser I struggle with this especially with her. This was something she was excited about trying and I let her down. I'm her father and I should be able to do things for her. She rarely steps out of her comfort zone and I feel horrible. It isn't her job to worry about me it's my job to take care of her and worry about her.
@Cigarguy You’re not perfect and she has to learn that too. And especially that it’s OKAY not to be perfect. Perfectionism is a curse, trust me, I know. Your beating yourself up so severely over not making a cake helps no one.

You go above and beyond to do things for her, above and beyond worrying about her. Allowing her to be concerned about your health does not make it her job, it offers her an opportunity to learn how to be a caring human being. And to learn that she’ll still be okay when things don’t go according to plan, a critical lesson as she moves forward in life.
Headrushes while standing? You need to get yourbiron and hemoglobin checked
Cigarguy · M
@NativePortlander1970 I have POTS. Today was just been a bad day. I feel a lot better now after getting some sleep and have a few liquids Iv drinks
@Cigarguy I am so very sorry :(

 
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