Wow! That's your sign to give up, I'd say. Screenshot it and look at it again next year, so you don't feel bad about letting go. Bless you and yours 🫂

She just doesn't "get" you or your kids at all. She's so unkind, so judgmental, so unloving.
But the "thank you son" seemed like a civilized beginning. Sad the rest of it was so rude and undeserving. It seems that you were casting your pearls before swine.

Did she really say that?? 😱

Forgive me but whenever I hear about your mother, I think this:

That was her response (last paragraph)?

Any mother or father who addresses their male kid as "son" instead of by their first name, is instantly suspect and really should be avoided at all cost.

The reason you keep trying to connect with your mother is because of your biological connection to her, which would vanish from your mind completely if your mother was actually your step-mom instead of your biological mom.

This is because your biological connection/attraction to each other (or at least your's to her) would be biologically absent from both of you if she was your step-mom.