I Love My Family

I’m divorced.
So right now my daughter is with her father.
She knows I’m getting rid of some of her old toys, it’s time to do so, she has too many, and there’s no space after Christmas. She understands. I’m this one with the problem. I think it would be easier if she were here. I think.

Something happens to me. I have an inner struggle and I can’t quite commit to getting rid of things. Even when I do, because she doesn’t use them anymore, I feel saddened in a major way. I feel depressed. It feels as if a part of me is dying. It sucks really.okay.

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Allelse · 36-40, M

Why are you getting rid of her toys?

Mindful · 56-60, F

She has too many@Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful And she has no problem with you doing this?

Mindful · 56-60, F

She understands. Honestly, it’s what we practice... rule: if u want new toys you have to give away some old ones to make room for the new ones. We don’t get rid of all her toys. She gets to pick what she wants to keep.@Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful That's alright then. I thought you were like this mother I knew as a kid, who just decided her kid had too much stuff, so he went away and she threw most of his shit away and he came back to find his room pretty much completely bare.

Mindful · 56-60, F

Well she want to keep her dolls. That’s not a problem. It’s just that some of the other stuff was given to her is nice... and from family... I guess I wish we could afford to store it forever. I’m keeping her rocking horse in the attic. I don’t know what to do. It affects me more. @Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful I dont know why but I've always found rocking horses creepy.

Mindful · 56-60, F

Oh no!!!! Maybe you saw it in a creepy movie, the way they open with a swing moving but no kid in it, and toys in the yard...@Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful I have a feeling its from a game I played as a kid called Monster Bash, where there was a haunted rocking horse which would attack you. And it freaked me out!

Mindful · 56-60, F

Yep! That would do it!!!!! Yikes! How old were you when you played it?@Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful Pretty much most of my childhood, but I was always drawn to spooky shit. Always been in my nature.

Mindful · 56-60, F

It’s a curiosity to what is unfamiliar... and creates endorphins rapidly — be careful still. @Allelse

Allelse · 36-40, M

@Mindful The house I grew up in was haunted, I wonder if that had anything to do with my curiosity.