CrazyChick21 · 46-50, F
Mindful · 56-60, F
@CrazyChick21 Thank you!
Mamapolo2016 · F
I will say this, and only this. When you are young, often the actual date of a celebration seems huge and vital. When my daughter’s father and I divorced, I knew privately he would make a big deal out of that, her being with him on Christmas Day, on birthdays, etc. She and I were not estranged, so this might not be applicable, but I told her that a celebration was whatever day we decided it was, days or weeks before or after the official date. That relieved some of her stress. It has worked for us.
Mindful · 56-60, F
@Mamapolo2016 thank you. That's true. It's not about the exact date. I'm glad you were not estranged. It's been an odd journey because of the ex and the adoring helicopter step mom. Sorry. I'm just being a "sore loser" with that remark
dragonfly46 · F
I like that.
You are letting her know you really care and love her, yet giving her the space to make up her own mind.
Next, and probably the hardest thing to do, would be to respect and adhere to her choice.
Ball is in her court, if she won't respond, then you tried your very best and now it's on her.
I just went through a bigger girl version of that. Mine is 32. Her birthday was on the 6th. It took everything in me to stand that line and respectfully make her choice and the consequences therein one that I adhered to. I cried from missing her, but knew deep down it was the right thing to do.
You are letting her know you really care and love her, yet giving her the space to make up her own mind.
Next, and probably the hardest thing to do, would be to respect and adhere to her choice.
Ball is in her court, if she won't respond, then you tried your very best and now it's on her.
I just went through a bigger girl version of that. Mine is 32. Her birthday was on the 6th. It took everything in me to stand that line and respectfully make her choice and the consequences therein one that I adhered to. I cried from missing her, but knew deep down it was the right thing to do.
BrandNewMan · 61-69, M
This is a tough thing .. I get you not wanting it to go by without a gift. Is there a store she loves to buy clothes at, a favorite chocolates shop or something that you could purchase a gift card for without her input?
WanderingHelplessly · 51-55, M
Why doesn’t she talk to you and how old is she?
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@Mindful that’s a difficult age. If I were you I wouldn’t force it, let her be for a while, send her a card and some wishes and leave it at that, give her time, she’ll come to you. At 16 they feel angry and think they know everything. It must be hard for you, I understand, I have found though that icing them out for a while at that age can be helpful.
RedBaron · M
What’s the point of posting it for randos on the internet instead of communicating directly with your family?
Mindful · 56-60, F
@RedBaron it's therapeutic. And although there are random people, this is, for the most part a caring community and I am wanting an outside adult perspective, hoping for some compassion if someone feels it. This is painful and difficult and I do feel alone in my pain. I am comforted by most other comments. I'm guessing you don't open up about personal matters here?