Wrapping my mind around my dad passing soon

I realize it's another post on my dad but it's been a stressful few weeks to say the least. Just three weeks ago in the hospital for what we thought was dehydration possibly, he was diagnosed with the aggressive type of Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. They said chemo should not be an option because this cancer is so rapid, and makes the body so weak, that chemo itself would kill him before cancer did. 🥺

Many get a time frame of six months to live with various more elevated cancers. I'd do anything to have heard them say that. They said several weeks to a couple months for his survival rate. They had him on at least a steroid for inflammation of the lymph system, but during his first week of hospice they took him off it, saying the side effects are too many. I don't know..it was the only partial treatment he was getting. So it's been one week now with no treatment at all .just morphine. He's extremely weak and now barely speaking. Just two days ago he could talk for a few minutes. Now it was not even a minute in a four hour period. Just utter fatigue and sleep.

Some said here they were happy their loved one went pretty quick and another said they felt bad for me enduring all the sadness and helplessness day after day. I think there's pros and cons to both, but I REALLY wish my dad could have had six months to live, not just several weeks perhaps. It's so daunting each day, and surreal , on edge thinking, is this his last day?