Is it wrong/bad to want someone dependable.... as a partner.

Because whenever i depend on anyone emotionally, mentally, physically, etc i get betaryed or disrespected or abused... They think i am weak.. and try to take advantage of me or bully me.

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Jenny1234 · 51-55, F

I think it would be nice just once in a while to be able to depend on a partner without having to pay a price for it

greensnacks · 31-35, F

Why do you want them to be dependable? To feel wanted and needed? If so, you're insecure and you should work on yourself instead of trying to outsource the feeling

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greensnacks · 31-35, F

@sahi81 I mixed up the words. To have someone to trust in, no that's not bad. But the best person you should always rely on the most ur looking at it in the mirror

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@greensnacks that's better than living in fears

bijouxbroussard · F

@greensnacks Maybe it’s generational.

MarbleMarvel

Not at all. As long as you can take care of yourself too, it's not wrong to want to feel safe with someone.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@MarbleMarvel I think over-dependency is bad... the feeling of fear that " if this person goes away... i can't live or do anything by myself..."

MarbleMarvel

@sahi81 yeah it's not healthy to rely on someone for happiness

JRVanguard · 26-30, M

Not at all
You’re entitled to your standards and that’s not much of an ask

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@JRVanguard Because whenever i depend on anyone emotionally, mentally, physically, etc i get betaryed or disrespected or abused... They think i am weak.. and try to take advantage of me or bully me.

JRVanguard · 26-30, M

@sahi81 It is not bad or wrong to not want that in a partner
That’s very reasonable

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

It's your risk to take. Dependable people might turn dangerous.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@CrazyMusicLover exactly... i am trying to be as independent as possible... but sometimes i wish i have someone by my side whom i trust to help.. when needed

bijouxbroussard · F

Why would that be wrong ? The alternative is someone flaky and irresponsible, and who needs that ? Part of a good relationship is being able to depend on each other, when necessary. There’s no real reason to have a partner if you can’t count on them.

sahi81 · 22-25, F

@bijouxbroussard i think over-dependence is bad ( i can't live without you type) but wanting someone dependable is reasonable i believe.

bijouxbroussard · F

@sahi81 I totally agree with that.

Lilnonames · F

no it is not

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