I've realized something. How to have an unhealthy relationship

My wife made me feel she was embarrassed by almost everything I did. Not they embarrassed her, I was an embarrassment to her. When the work you do and feel good about you don't want to share because she'll make you feel shitty about it it hurts.

When you don't mention who your friends are because they're exactly what she sarcastically or maybe seriously suggested you go find for friends and you know she'll hate you for having them even though they're just friends.

You don't tell her anything about anything because you know she'll make you feel she's embarrassed you even think that. My goal in life is to retire, she thinks I should want to work more. I've got 30 years of working my ass off, I'd like to not anymore

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Tumbleweed · F

Well in that situation, I can definitely see why you're not happy and light hearted.
That's no way to live and although you may have invested alot of time, money and energy into your marriage, I'd count my losses and move on. But that's me. You have to be happy or you're no good to anyone and especially to yourself.

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Justafantasy · M

@Tumbleweed well I suggested that she leave not so nicely. "First thing I'd do if I was more of a man is kick you out". She didn't seem to appreciate the motivation she'd inspired me too.

Tumbleweed · F

@Justafantasy Haha!! Well there you go!! You're already well on your way to being confident and happy!!

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SlaveEt · 36-40, F

Sounds like you should retire, plan a fun trip with friends and leave the divorce papers on the kitchen table for her to find. Life is much too short to be, or spent it with someone who makes you miserable. I hope you find your happy and your peace with someone who appreciates you and the people and things you hold dear.

Justafantasy · M

@SlaveEt we are separated as of August . Means August 2025 we can be divorced

SW-User

You should have a different wife my friend . Anyone who doesn't love you for who are ....doesn't really love you. I'm sorry.

Justafantasy · M

@SW-User we are now separated.

Elisbch · M

IMHO... she sounds like she might be a narcissist (?) 🤔

Justafantasy · M

@Elisbch toxic negative and manipulative? Nicest thing she's offered me in a long time was a divorce for having a female friend who our kids play well together and 🥁 🥐 wants the wife and I to stay together.

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Justafantasy · M

@Tumbleweed I'm not the happiest most light hearted person ever. We literally have been scared to talk to each other for a long time about anything other than the kids. Can't even talk about changes and what the consequences will be of said changes.

Musicman · 61-69, M

Have you considered separating? Why would you want to live with someone like that?

Tumbleweed · F

@Musicman Totally agree

Justafantasy · M

@Musicman she's not in this house anymore

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