how can you carry on when few people care for you

[c=003BB2][i]the only support system i have literally is my elderly mum and dad, they live far from me...sometimes me and my mum fall out, and talking to my mum its like she doesn't care for me, i know she tries to encourage me each day and talk me out of my paranoid thoughts and depressive moods.....but when i keep up those moods its like she gives the impression she is ready to give up on me...and let go of me...and that makes me feel really angry and upset.


i have literally no one else apart from my mother and father, same thing happens with my father at times, we fall out and don't talk....but it happens more often with my mum........i have a severe personality disorder which is difficult to get through ...i get erratic mood bouts of depression and anxiety and paranoia a lot of days....and sometimes my mum is not there for me and gives the impression she could give up and desert me...i am also co-dependent on my mum.


tonight i'm in a dark hole, and dwelling on the fact i'm on my own all the time...and my mum tells me that i have to keep going and giving it my best....and look at the good things in life and see the positive...i think it's easy for her to say.

i'm very close to my mum , i always have been, but we have had a lot of fall outs through the years...

i just feel like no one, when push comes to shove, gives a damn about me....and that my mum gives the impression sometimes like its an effort for her to care?




i'm totally alone in the world....what i wrote probably doesn't make any sense to you, but it's just how i'm feeling right now.[/i][/c]