Asking
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

They are starting to believe she's not coming back

So the kids and I haven't seen or heard from their mom since before Thanksgiving. I think it's really starting to hit home with them especially my daughter. I don't know what to do to help them. Has anyone else had to deal with this. Any ideas would be appreciated.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Wow that sucks.
I guess you have to think in terms of support. Certainly in the short term.
Figure out what it is you need most and compile a list of needs.

When you have that I suppose you have to find out if anyone around you could help with these issues.
That will be tough because most people are unreliable when you need them most. So if you have friends or family that might be able to help, try and keep them onside by not worrying too much about how they do things.

Then comes the hard bit.
You all have conditions that require input from specialists.
That's medical; social; educational and probably financial.
So you either have to do a bit of research and see if there's help available via a charity or group local to you connected with disability or education or psychology and make contact with the intention being to try and support your family's needs yourself. Or you have to bite the bullet and involve a social worker who might well assess your needs and decide on things that take 'control' out of your hands completely.
However well intentioned that's a whole other level of stress.

As for their Mother... This is the bit that worries me the most.
Primarily because she has all the power in this scenario.
What are the chances she'll return at some point with new partner/people around her that make her think she's now capable of taking on her children (you having done the hard work raising them)
You may need legal advice to protect you and them from future problems
Cigarguy101 · 41-45, M
@Picklebobble2 thankfully I have a small support team helping me. My buddy and his daughter. She watches them during the summer and gets them off to school when that starts.

My daughter gets all the help and support she needs though school.
We usually take the summer off unless she needs talk therapy. She sees her regularly.

My boy just got diagnosed so most of this treatment will start when school does. We start all the planning in the next few weeks.

And me I see every doctor and specialist you can think of but it's still a struggle for me to feel ok.

As for their mom. She gave me full custody of them when we divorced. She's allowed to visit them anytime but wasn't. Not even a text message.