I Am Considering Divorce
Has anyone gone through a divorce after 20+ years of marriage? I'm not even sure how to approach it in my situation.
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PoetryNEmotion · F
I did. After 30 years. What do you wish to ask? Get a great attorney. Be fair to your wife with the finances. See your children as much as possible. Think about custody arrangements. Do you want to share? Ensure lots of visitation. Don't talk negatively about your wife in front of the kids. They are most important. They need to know they are loved and they are not the reason for your divorce. Find a home where your kids can have their own rooms. Make sure your job is secure. Split things fairly. Breathe deeply. It won't be easy. It will be severe. But freedom is the best thing when you are in an unhappy marriage. Any other questions? I am happy to help.
Camas1974 · 51-55, M
@PoetryNEmotion I'm not even sure where to begin. I'm just trying to figure out how to broach the subject without causing too much more problems...20+ years together and I'm a bit of a hoarder, I'm not in a situation where I can just pick up and leave. I feel like I've put all these years into the marriage, how do I just leave that now. I guess I'm just mostly wanting to know what others did, how things worked out for them, etc.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@Camas1974 Read my words. You have to do what is right for you. So be fair. Who is initiating this? You or her? Why? Let me know if you have any questions. I made the right choice. I wish I hadn't waited so long.
Camas1974 · 51-55, M
Right now it's something I'm strongly thinking about, nothing has,been said at all.
I just started therapy, and it's helping me look at things I've been thinking about and dealing with, and making me think how both of our lives could be if we went our separate ways.
I just started therapy, and it's helping me look at things I've been thinking about and dealing with, and making me think how both of our lives could be if we went our separate ways.
PoetryNEmotion · F
@Camas1974 Well, choose wisely. Only you know why you want to think further on this. Therapy may help you think more clearly. Marriages only work when both people love one another; when they share a bed; when both want what is best for each other, and similar. I wish you good luck and a clear mind. Let us know what happens.