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I Am Going Through a Divorce Right Now

I currently house share with my soon to be ex wife until the divorce is finalised.
She has a boyfriend that she has been seeing for over a year and in the last two months he has met our children and he has stayed over at hour house when I am away.
So this morning she asked me if I was going out soon to sleep over at a friend's house because her boyfriend would like to come stay at our house, she added : ''it has been a bit since he saw the children'' (By that she meant our children and he saw them last week on Friday night). It bugged me immensely but I couldn't' quite put words on what it was. Then I realised what annoys me about it, it is that she is asking me the father of the children to allow them time with someone who isn't' their father.
Besides the obvious fact that she prioritises her boyfriend over me in our children's life, it also raises worries about her trying to make him a 'substitute father'.
She is a very aggressive and argumentative person, which forces me to take my time before answering any such situation. But I am concerned that she will try to undermine my role in the children's life as a father. Hopefully they can see through that.
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SmartKat · 56-60, F
She's not very sensitive to your feelings. To put it mildly.
@SmartKat This is divorce, SmartKat. It is about pain and suffering mostly. She doesn't care about him. So she flaunts this boyfriend like a slap in his face. I say it stings him. Does he deserve it? I doubt it. No one does. But this is divorce. Like a war.
MrSquishy · 56-60, M
@SmartKat You are right, Kat, she doesn't care for my feelings. She has a tendency to undermine everything I do or say. When it touches only me I let it slip but when it affects my kids I feel very differently about it.
MrSquishy · 56-60, M
@PoetryNEmotion Not all divorces are like war. They are never happy moments, but some people do manage to keep a civil distance. In the case of my ex it is like negotiating with a rabid raccoon...
@MrSquishy I think an amiable divorce is an oxymoron. And it is all the clash of feelings mostly severe ones that effect the children the most profoundly. I am glad you are being a gentleman.
SmartKat · 56-60, F
@PoetryNEmotion Divorce always hurts - for everybody involved. But I think his STBX is being much worse than she has to be. My divorce hurt, but we weren't that horrible to each other.
@SmartKat The degree of monster varies, Kat.