My Journey

I’ve been thinking a lot about how different things feel now compared to two years ago when mom and I first came to live with my stepdad. I used to be angry a lot. I felt like everything was unfair, like I was always being watched or expected to mess up. It was hard adjusting to someone new being in charge, especially someone who wasn’t my real dad.

At first, every rule felt like a punishment waiting to happen. I didn’t understand the structure, and I didn’t trust that it came from a place of care. I just felt embarrassed and frustrated all the time. But over time, I started to see the pattern — and I’m not saying I love it, but I understand it now.
My stepdad is strict, but not unpredictable. When I mess up, I know exactly what will happen. There’s always a talk, always a consequence, and always a point afterward where he checks in. That part matters. It’s not just about getting corrected, it’s about being reminded that I can do better, and they believe I will.

I don’t feel as angry about it anymore. It’s just the way things work here. And weirdly, having that structure — knowing where the lines are — made me feel more settled. I’ve learned to take responsibility faster, to apologize without waiting to be forced, and to listen before reacting. Some days I still push back, because that’s who I am. But I also know they’re not just trying to control me — they’re trying to raise me. That’s a big difference. And two years in, I finally get it.

Alfred22

Well I hope my traffic ticket story was at least interesting. The town I boycotted is still there but that restaurant is long gone. Is the new marriage likely to endure? Best wishes on that front, whatever it is that would be best. Most of what I read on here suggests that your bio parent should handle any controversial discipline. Maybe if you are able to ask your mother privately, inquire whether she really has approved step-dad's approach? On SW and perhaps on Quora, spankings by step-parents are a common topic.

Do you have any contact with bio-dad? Such communication is usually rare and not all that helpful. A friend spent a lot of money tracking down her bio father, flew coast to coast, found him, spent two hours with him catching up on his new life and family, shook hands, called a limo, and returned to east coast. I asked if that was it forever. She just nodded. Kind of sad but I have read of similar reunions. These stories cast doubt on the saying that "blood is thicker than water.".