Adult Children Of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families

I just returned from my ACA meeting. I'm glad I went. I feel for all the people who have been subject to their parents' dysfunctions and alcoholism. Yet, it's consoling to know I'm not alone in this. I'm so thankful for the program, and for every member in the organization.

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LadyGrace ·

Proud of you. 🙏

PhoenixPhail · M

@LadyGrace Thank you. 🫂

DrWatson · 70-79, M

I am glad you found a group that will be helpful.

Can you say a little about how ACA is different from Al Anon? My wife tried the latter and did not think it was right for her.

PhoenixPhail · M

@DrWatson ACA and Al Anon are very similar. There's some difference in the wording of the readings. But the steps are essentially the same.

Heartlander ·

Good for you. There are some things that only people on the inside understand.

I read JD Vance's Hillbilly Elegy a few years ago and was impressed by the relentlessness of famly disfunction. When does it stop? Where is the escape hatch? For some maybe to greater disfunction. So good to see you with a better option.

PhoenixPhail · M

@Heartlander Thank you. I'm not familiar with Hillbilly Elegy, but I'm going to look into it.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

It's not for everyone, is all I'll say. Everyone is different.

Yes, I had a alcoholic parent. I learned to deal with it, without it.

I took care of both parents before they passed away.

BizSuitStacy · M

You're not alone. Very difficult dealing with an alcoholic parent.

SandWitch · 26-30, F

What would you say is the greatest challenge of being the adult child of an alcoholic parent?

PhoenixPhail · M

@SandWitch In my experience, the greatest challenge is identifying, working with and changing the programming created by very dysfunctional parents. The compensations I took on as a child were necessary for my survival. But in my adulthood, they're still keeping me from being my authentic self. The survival identity takes on a life of its own, and does everything it can to keep from being extinguished. The challenges are constant. The biggest problem in surmounting the survival identity, is how to do that in a world which so constantly promotes dysfunction. It's like trying to wash your car while it's raining mud.

"It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." ~~~Jiddu Krishnamurti

SandWitch · 26-30, F

@PhoenixPhail
Okay, that was really very well explained.

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