Upset
Only logged in members can reply and interact with the post.
Join SimilarWorlds for FREE »

Having a hard time processing a difficult event that happened over Christmas.

Someone contacted me that I haven’t heard from in over 20 years. My mom‘s ex-husband. They got divorced when I was really young like 3 or 4 years old. No this is not my biological father. Allegedly, he was very abusive to my mother. One of the reasons why she left. For many years after the divorce it was the typical story of him saying that he will be there for birthdays and Christmases but never showed up. No phone call. Left me very traumatized along with having trust and abandonment issues. Now given my mom wasn’t perfect either. Had her own issues. Lied. Supposedly told her ex-husband that I was his but found out during a blood test that I wasn’t. My mom had lied to me for many years about her drug and alcohol abuse. Along with other things. Wasn’t really that good of a person. So I have my own trust issues around my mother as well. She died in 2017 from cancer. Fast forward to Christmas 2023. I get a phone call from her ex-husband. Says that he’s been wanting to contact me for years. Says that there are things that he’s wanted to tell me but hasn’t been able to. Said that my mother made it very difficult for him to see me. Kept me from him. Says that he doesn’t want to badmouth the dead, but there were things that happened that he thinks I need to know about. Wants to meet up and talk face-to-face. Told him if he wants to travel to meet up in my hometown that’s up to him. He says that he wants to be here for me now, and have a relationship with me. So New Year’s arrives. I thought maybe I’d hear Happy New Year’s from him. Nothing. Just like when I was a kid. Three days later no happy new year. Haven’t heard from him since Christmas. Just like when I was a kid. Why should I have any trust in anybody? Why should I have faith that someone is going to actually be there for me and not let me down? I have never had a positive person in my life that I can trust to be there for me. Everybody always lies to me and lets me down. I am seriously about ready just to block his number. It’s like you had your chance and you blew it. Why should I try to trust people when I just keep getting traumatized and hurt over and over again? Should I just block his ass? Or should I see if he contacts me and gives me some BS excuse on why I haven’t heard from him since Christmas? Idk what to do or think. But one thing I know for sure it is not my placed to contact him. If he wants this supposed relationship and to be here for me now then he needs to be the one to reach out, not me.
This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
A lot of guys have been caught that way and bond with a child that is not biologically theirs.

But he walked away from you when you were very young, and you hardly knew him.

So personally, I would ignore him, or block him. My alarm bells are up.
DisarrayedNightshade · 36-40, F
@sunriselover thank you. My alarm bells are up as well. I am very guarded. I think the last time I saw him I was either seven or nine years old. I’m almost 37 now. So why wait so long to try to contact me now? Supposedly, my mom made it really difficult for him to come see me? Sounds like a BS excuse to me. so I don’t know who to believe. Maybe I should just block him to keep myself protected and from getting hurt worse than I already am.