Weird hosting experience
This post is about my family, sadly. My husband and I called them for a regional festival that we have decided to celebrate every year as an annual tradition. My husband loves this festival a lot, so I go along with it. My parents and sister’s family are the family we have in our city so we invited them for lunch. I cooked for two days. We both planned everything down to the tee. The outfits, some small decoration and our traditional feast which is A LOT of work.
Since the table cannot seat all 6 of us, we decided to feed our guests first, my parents, sister and brother in law. They ate. They said the food was so delicious. They praised the food. And they left. As soon as they were done.
They didn’t wait for us to eat, they didn’t talk to us after meals- like what usually happens when guests come. We sit we chat at least for 30 mins or an hour. It’s a Sunday. All they will do is go back home and rest… there was no reason to hurry. I can somewhat understand my sister because she has an autistic son who comes with a whole set of demands, but my parents also just left.
We both felt it was rude. After all the work we did to make the day special. Ate and leave like it’s some restaurant.
My husband is pissed and now this happy occasion that we had worked so hard for, ended up with us fighting and not talking to each other.
I ate my food alone. He hasn’t eaten yet, he says the joy is sucked out. He had some not so nice things to say about my family. Usually I would have retaliated but I can’t really defend my family here.
I know that something like autism is complex but that has really changed the family dynamics. My mother only worries about her grandson. All family occasions when we meet are all centered around him. His food, his behaviour, his issues- that’s all we talk about.
And my sister who barely takes an initiative for something like this, who cancels last minute , etc is applauded when she shows up. And me, who is consistent, well that is expected of me and that’s normal for everyone so… my husband who is an observer thinks that I am somewhat in the shadows… whatever. I am really disappointed in my family today.
They love me, they are helpful usually. All that is true.
But my husband is offended. He feels this was disrespectful to us as hosts.
And he doesn’t want to be in my city anymore. He had moved for me. He doesn’t want to host my family anymore or attend when anyone from my family hosts.
Since the table cannot seat all 6 of us, we decided to feed our guests first, my parents, sister and brother in law. They ate. They said the food was so delicious. They praised the food. And they left. As soon as they were done.
They didn’t wait for us to eat, they didn’t talk to us after meals- like what usually happens when guests come. We sit we chat at least for 30 mins or an hour. It’s a Sunday. All they will do is go back home and rest… there was no reason to hurry. I can somewhat understand my sister because she has an autistic son who comes with a whole set of demands, but my parents also just left.
We both felt it was rude. After all the work we did to make the day special. Ate and leave like it’s some restaurant.
My husband is pissed and now this happy occasion that we had worked so hard for, ended up with us fighting and not talking to each other.
I ate my food alone. He hasn’t eaten yet, he says the joy is sucked out. He had some not so nice things to say about my family. Usually I would have retaliated but I can’t really defend my family here.
I know that something like autism is complex but that has really changed the family dynamics. My mother only worries about her grandson. All family occasions when we meet are all centered around him. His food, his behaviour, his issues- that’s all we talk about.
And my sister who barely takes an initiative for something like this, who cancels last minute , etc is applauded when she shows up. And me, who is consistent, well that is expected of me and that’s normal for everyone so… my husband who is an observer thinks that I am somewhat in the shadows… whatever. I am really disappointed in my family today.
They love me, they are helpful usually. All that is true.
But my husband is offended. He feels this was disrespectful to us as hosts.
And he doesn’t want to be in my city anymore. He had moved for me. He doesn’t want to host my family anymore or attend when anyone from my family hosts.
31-35, F
