Not saying my aunt is selfish, but...

...she's leaving for a festival tomorrow because she got the tickets 2 months ago and can't get a refund. Never mind her mom (my gmaw) has gotten worse after a week on her deathbed.
(She also lives 12 away, so you'd think she'd want as much time with her mom as possible while she still can)

Also, we started out being 12 family members pairing up to take shifts sitting with gmaw to make sure she feels safe.

Now it's just me, my oldest sister, and mom left willing to do so. The 3 people who are disability pensioners due to mental health issues.

Gmaw is still hanging in there, but is so sick and tired of being bed ridden, not understanding why noone's able to make her better she actually cried 3 times last night. It hurts so much to see her like that, I take my nightnight pills to stay calm enough to be there for her.

Part of me want to tell her it's ok to let go and reunite with gpaw, but I don't want her to know she's dying. There's no need to scare her like that. She's freaked out enough as is.

I feel terrible for saying this, but I hope she lets go soon so she will be at peace.

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NerdyPotato ·

There is no need feeling terrible for wanting the best for her. Her wish to get better isn't going to happen, and she's clearly uncomfortable waiting out the rest of her life. You're kind for wanting this to end.

CurrentName · 51-55, M

Don't worry about what others do. That's for them to carry.
You worry about what you think is right to do and do it.
The question you need to ask yourself is that when she does die...are you going to be in peace with what YOU did.

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@CurrentName I will be.

The reason I'm angry aunt is leaving is mainly the fact the 3 of us still willing to sit with gmaw so she won't be alone won't get as much time to relax and gather energy between shifts. Leaving gmaw alone is out of the question as she has expressed a need to have a loved one by her side at any given time now.

A nurse won't do. A couple of my cousins who hardly ever visited gmaw the last few years won't even do. The last time they were with her alone, gmaw freaked out and demanded someone else instead to the point where she needed to be sedated.

I worry about gmaw and how she feels in all this.

CurrentName · 51-55, M

@TheRealBarbossa
I understand more than you know. But that's what people do. They are mostly shitty. And as long as there's someone else to do it they see no reason to do it themselves.
I get why you're angry. But that's only consuming you. The others keep going like nothing.
When something like that happened to me I was very angry. But I could t change them.
I was the one miserable and angry.
I say let it go and take care of her

TheRealBarbossa · 36-40, T

@CurrentName I'm trying to focus my energy on gmaw 👍

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