Visited gmaw for the last time..

She's still in the hospital. She has an infection that keeps sky rocketing in spite of antibiotics, so the doctors decided to stop all treatment and only give her pain relief until her final breath.

It could happen any minute, but could also take a few days.

She was asleep most of the time I was there today, and mom, uncle, and aunt will take shifts sitting with her so she won't be alone even for a minute.

I feel sad, relieved, anxious, guilty, like i could have done more, selfish for not offering to spend more time by her side, and more I don't even have words for.

But I'm also grateful I had her as my gmaw, and that I've had her as long as I did. Especially since she's been struggling with her health since 1991.

It feels weird grieving someone who's still alive, but I am.

Atleast she'll get to meet gpaw again 💜

Side note: tuesday next week it'll be 6 years since he passed. I can't help but wonder if gmaw is holding on until then.