Struggling with sobriety today
Luckilly I'm broke and on Antabus (pills that will make me violently ill if I drink any amount of alcohol)
Turns out gmaw is the main trigger for me.
She called a little while ago guilting me into visiting her. I agreed to come see her after her dinner (in 20 min)
I still call her gmaw, but truth is she's no longer herself due to alzheimer/dementia. And to her I'm still the grandkid who's expected to show up for her at the slightest inconvenience or whenever ahe needs something.
In the past I've literally sat right next to my mom and my sisters when they've called gmaw and asked if she needed anything. She always said "no, if I do I'll call TheRealBarbossa" or "yes, but TheRealBarbossa can do it for me"
Always expecting me to be available. She even once told mom "it's not like TheRealBarbossa has anything else to do" when mom tried explaining why I should be asked, not ordered, and also that I'm a disability pensioner for a reason.
Anyway... I should go visit gmaw now, so end of rant.
Turns out gmaw is the main trigger for me.
She called a little while ago guilting me into visiting her. I agreed to come see her after her dinner (in 20 min)
I still call her gmaw, but truth is she's no longer herself due to alzheimer/dementia. And to her I'm still the grandkid who's expected to show up for her at the slightest inconvenience or whenever ahe needs something.
In the past I've literally sat right next to my mom and my sisters when they've called gmaw and asked if she needed anything. She always said "no, if I do I'll call TheRealBarbossa" or "yes, but TheRealBarbossa can do it for me"
Always expecting me to be available. She even once told mom "it's not like TheRealBarbossa has anything else to do" when mom tried explaining why I should be asked, not ordered, and also that I'm a disability pensioner for a reason.
Anyway... I should go visit gmaw now, so end of rant.
36-40, T
