This is just a little rant. I know I’m 36 and this probably shouldn’t bother me as much as it does, but it still does.

My mom sometimes talks about how awful my grandpa was to her when she was growing up. He was her stepdad and apparently treated her very differently than he treated her younger sister. From what she’s said, a lot of it was mentally abusive, and I know that kind of stuff can stay with you forever.

But it’s really hard for me to hear sometimes because the papaw I knew was completely different. I have nothing but good memories of him. He was always loving to me, and he’s been gone for years now. So hearing those stories kind of messes with my heart and my memories.

I know my mom went through things I’ll never fully understand, and I don’t think she’s lying or exaggerating. I think she’s still hurting from it. But sometimes I wish she could talk to someone like a therapist about it, because hearing it over and over is really heavy for me.

And honestly… I feel guilty even saying that, because I know her pain is real. But it still hurts to hear those things about someone I loved so much.

Does that make me selfish? I genuinely don’t know.

4meAndyou · F

Just remember that your Papaw whom you loved SO much was a human being just like everyone else, and he probably made quite a few mistakes in his time. One of them, probably repeated over a lot of years, was the way he treated your mother.

It's too bad your mother can't forgive him...but she can't SEE the Papaw that YOU see. She only sees the hurt she feels.

Just cherish YOUR memories. Compartmentalize them. Keep them safe, so that your mother's terrible hurts don't harm them.

AND your mother is probably not going to be able to stop talking about it. That's her form of catharsis.