I love my family but they hurt me.
They regularly yell, cuss, blame, and expect others to carry emotional labor.
No, not even carry it. They just expect them to absorb it, and move on like everything is fine.
When I was a child, the aggression would occasionally be physical instead of verbal.
If they're not the one doing the aggression, they're justifying it. Anyone who expresses that it's stressful is brushed off as "too sensitive".
I am sensitive. It's the "too" part that's not true. This is how I am. When I'm treated like this, I don't absorb it and forget like they expect. I carry it continuously and it weighs on my heart. I begin to neglect myself and my life. I fall behind on obligations. And then they see it as a reason to yell and blame some more.
It creates a cycle where I isolate and self-destruct, they don't recognize it or even take my hurt behavior as an offense, and find another reason to have an outburst again. All the while, they think everything that's happened before is just forgotten, like I'm a computer who can just delete harmful memories.
I'm in pain and it never ends.
No, not even carry it. They just expect them to absorb it, and move on like everything is fine.
When I was a child, the aggression would occasionally be physical instead of verbal.
If they're not the one doing the aggression, they're justifying it. Anyone who expresses that it's stressful is brushed off as "too sensitive".
I am sensitive. It's the "too" part that's not true. This is how I am. When I'm treated like this, I don't absorb it and forget like they expect. I carry it continuously and it weighs on my heart. I begin to neglect myself and my life. I fall behind on obligations. And then they see it as a reason to yell and blame some more.
It creates a cycle where I isolate and self-destruct, they don't recognize it or even take my hurt behavior as an offense, and find another reason to have an outburst again. All the while, they think everything that's happened before is just forgotten, like I'm a computer who can just delete harmful memories.
I'm in pain and it never ends.
