I never thought about my dad dying

I never gave much thought to him not being here. I think subconsciously I imagined I'd be more in my 50s or 60s. It was all SO FAST . He was weak for a couple weeks in December in his nursing home. His voice was weak too. We finally called 911 when he could barely talk and he could barely drink. Yet his nursing staff thought he was fine??!! 😯

Within a couple days in the hospital they found all lymph nodes enlarged, and said it was most likely Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.. cancer. But they said depending on the type, he could get chemo or even just a pill if Stage 1. A few days after that they said he had the most rapid aggressive type 😔
Chemo not recommended as it typically kills the person with aggressive cancer before the disease does. They gave him several weeks to a couple months to kive. He passed three weeks later, last weekend. It was very sad because he suffered a lot during the final week with pneumonia too. It was awful but I'm grateful he's not suffering now. I just wish we could see each other to watch Midsomer Murders together again.. it's the little things you miss. I wish I could hug you dad... I love you. ♥