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How do I ignore what my family tells me?

How do I not let my families mean words effect me? My grandmas sisters grand daughter is living with us and she has for a while but cince i had my first child she has been very mean to me and I dont understand why? I have talked to her about it and she says she dosent want to talk about it. I would be okay with that if she didnt try to insult me or my husband every chance she gets. She says things like I have gained weight or my slippers are too noisy or i shouldnt be carrying so much i might drop it all. She is very negative and im just telling myself a million positive things over and over again and its not helping.
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Casheyane · 31-35, F
First, decide who you are. Who you wish to be. Say it to the mirror. Everyday. Positive things.
Second, stop them from saying bad words to you. Don't let them get away. If it's your house, then all the more they should be careful to not offend.
Don't tolerate a toxic behavior (not even in the name of family) in your presence. Call them out and let them reflect on their own behavior.
Real family don't let you be offended without doing anything. If people let others get away with treating you bad, something is wrong.

If they are unhappy with their life, then they should work on it. But if she wants to be in your presence, be brave enough to defend yourself and tell them their behavior and words are unacceptable. The door is open and they can go out.

I'm saying it nicely. But in layman's term, learn to kick ass of bullies.