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I slept with my boyfriend's ex sister in law. I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend.

The title is really rocky and not a joke at all. Everything was a mistake and was not on purpose. I am 44 year old divorced woman. I have a son.





I moved here in this small town about 29 months ago. I moved here because is very near my son's boarding school. About 27 months ago i started dating this divorced guy. His ex wife is an addict. She is addicted to cocaine. In 2018 she was sentenced to 3 years in prison for credit card fraud. They divorced. She served 2 years. My boyfriend has full custody of his daughters.

About 15 months ago i started having sexual experiences with other women. I love my boyfriend to death. He's the most sensitive, caring person that I've ever come across. My boyfriend is okay with me actually being with a woman or having sex with one. he says it is not cheating and explains that he does not get jealous over women , the reasoning being that he's not that well-versed and educated in sexuality. his distrust in men in general (being pushy with flirting, pursuing, etc.) is what makes him feel more jealous. My boyfriend is extremely jealous of guys, even the ugly ones! "If ANYONE could steal my big ebony girl, it would surely be another man" he says often. .

About a month ago my boyfriend's ex sister in law moved back here in her hometown. She is a 43 year old short skinny mousy pale divorced bisexual woman. 5 days ago she walked into my store. She was really friendly and so was I because I wanted to make sure that I was cool with my boyfriend's daughter's aunt. . After talking for a while we swapped numbers. Nothing serious. The next day she texted me.

We decided to meet up again and get some coffee. I told my boyfriend me and his ex sister in law were hanging out and he was ok with it. After we got some coffee we walked around and we both went back home. I decided to go to this neighborhood women's party that night. When I went with some friends I saw this woman my boyfriend's ex sister in law. She was with some of her friends. We made eye contact and she walked up to me. After a few cocktails my memory and vision were very blurry. I asked her if she could give me a ride because my friends weren’t ready to leave. She agreed. When we were driving she needed to get something from her house and I needed some water so we both went in. When we were in she started groping me and kissing me and I kissed her back. We soon went up to her room.

I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend. My boyfriend is okay with me actually being with a woman or having sex with one, but this is differen't . She is his ex sister in law. And he kinda hates her. Also she is his daughter's aunt , and they kinda hate me. My boyfriend’s daughter's nickname for me is giant overdressed cow. They are very rude to me. His daughters ignored me for a while and then they started to be very rude. They would make offhanded comments about me, insult me, and told me that I am a giant , arrogant, overdressed cow. They tend to just call me a giant cow.
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I don't see the issue with the sex part of all that, or the person either, if you like her, who cares what others think.
Those abusive children though, that is disturbing, maybe talk to him about that and try to figure out a way to get on their good side so they start being nice for a change.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@JamesBugman thanks for your support. My boyfriend is very protective of his daughters, because of the whole situation with his ex wife.
PHlover19701 · 56-60, M
I know you like being degraded and if she knows it too then she will certainly tell her family knowing they will tell your boyfriend and they will degrade you for it. Knowing that is all very likely to happen, get ahead of things and tell him before he finds out from them.
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@PHlover19701 For me, it's about being the center of their attention and knowing how much pleasure and satisfaction my partner is receiving by topping me. They're doing what they want to do to me because they enjoy it, so I enjoy it, and I love that
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@PHlover19701 I love the hunger in their eyes, the confidence, look of satisfaction, and then watching them completely lose their minds and melt into a puddle on top of me.
PHlover19701 · 56-60, M
@LaLa81 @LaLa81 If any of those women are on here, they can DM me and Ill coach them on how to drive you wild.
romell · 51-55, M
Let it slide don't repeat it anyways your bf is is cool with other women n doesn't consider that as cheating..so you always have this to say since didn't think you found sleeping with women as cheating so didn't tell you .. sometime being too transparent can hurt bad..
faery · F
This is both no big deal (by what you say about how he feels about you having sex with women) and probably what will undo you two in the end
@LaLa81 nothing wrong with liking being attracted to women. Just understand it’s inherently in your nature to be have fluid gender identity and you are comfortable being sexually attracted to both sides of the equation.
Now key to addressing this is finding someone who can compliment your personality and your needs without criticism or compromising on your behalf. At 44 you have learned a lot of valuable lessons about yourself. Let that be your guide going forward into the next chapter of your journey.
Wishing Your All the best in 2026
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@Briggett thank you
@LaLa81 you more than deserve and welcomed check your inbox on here
That’s so sad but it’s up to you to live with it and like or do something different
Sinead65 · 56-60, F
Oh, you definitely left a GREAT impression on the family...
wintersecret · 46-50, M
Having Sex with one where u feel comfy is completely your choice to follow

Getting the family bonding together is another until you dont tie the knot..
Sinead65 · 56-60, F
you tell your boyfriend before the ex sister in law does.
How old is the daughter
LaLa81 · 41-45, F
@Briggett 18 and 16 year old
@LaLa81 kids at that age can be very brutal, usually a product of their environment and social influences
helenoftroy2000 · 22-25, F
now that is a match made in heaven
Younameit · F
Too long, didn’t read
Convivial · 26-30, F
Is there a need to tell....
Strictmichael75 · 61-69, M
They don’t deserve you, and letting his daughter insult you is disgraceful

 
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