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Intelligence and predictability.

More than a decade ago, my older brother said that people often prefer predictability over intelligence, especially in women, and that I was psychologically impenetrable, so impossible to know or love.

He said this after I criticized his choice in partnerships. I told him I had recognized a pattern, he gravitated toward seemingly shallow obedient uneducated women, and that this was predatory.

I also told him that if he continued, he would eventually be the one consumed by it, the victim of his own insecurities. He underestimated the damage ignorance paired with selfishness can cause. One doesn't have to be intelligent or powerful to be capable of abuse.

Years passed. Things changed. We grew older and closer. We stopped clashing so often.

Today, my younger brother said in our group chat he could never date someone he thought was stupid. He needs depth.

It unexpectedly reopened that old conversation. This time, my older brother admitted he had been wrong. And I admitted that while I was right, I had been right too early. And he was right about the fact that society prefers predictability over anything of complexity.
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JustNik · 51-55, F
My oldest has struggled with that in every relationship she’s had. Her intelligence and level head intimidate people even though she’s not arrogant and is open about her own struggles and shortcomings. The difference with her current partner is that he’s willing to look at himself and see where his actions are coming from and work to improve them. If self-reflection was prioritized as a life skill, there would be less insecurity.