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Family can be so.......family

Went amd saw my mum.
I dont see her much.
There's a reason.


Was confronted as i went to hug her by " oh i wouldn't have reccognised you as my daughter".

We talk .
I get reminded about how wonderful my siblings are doing. Was told all about my sister's travels to Switzerland, France for the fourh time...and other places. Was told how my sister has no money :
- Shes retired, moved to queensland and does bucket list things each year. (Which is very cool, and she rightly deserves).

I relistened to her tell me of her impending death, her life and her correcting anything that i know, prefer, or is interesting to me.

I don't think i got asked anything,🤔
My daughter almost got totally ignored.
Well, except for a lecture on how the new pope has re- outlawed being gay.

Im very proud that my daughter and her girlfriend, (who came with me out of kindness), managed to say ABSOLUTELY nothing.

It was a few hours of being told she was slowly starving to death....while i watched her demolish chocolate covered icecream.

I helped her go to the toilet....had to hold the oxygen machine and tubes... understandable.
But then she just sat there and kept talking .
And talking .

Machine weighed damn near 15kg.
I waited, listened, i started sweating it was so heavy.
She wasnt even looking at me while she talked.
20 & 30? minites or more went by.

I asked if she wanted to come back and sit down ....she huffed about no one wants to listen to her .

I had bought her her favorite signature perfume that she always wore....she told me "oh, that was just kept in the wardrobe - ive got my own - i buy anything ...here smell it, try it on"
I put down the perfume that i remember smelled like my mum for over 40 years and all thru my childhood.
I left it on a trolley.


I listened to retwisted stories, and got told i remembered them wrong if i said anything.
My daughter got given a photo album which she was told had photos of her in it..... It didn't. Just random photos of houses my mum liked.

Mum asked if i could take some of her stuff as shes dyin' - can barely breathe, (yet she managed to never stop talking). Said it was her stuff....it had to be handed on. She didnt want it thrown out.
Also understandable.

When we had to go, i asked what it is she wanted me to take.
Was then told "no not those...all the photos and personal stuff goes to your sister and brothers, take those boxes"
I did.
They are full of temu wool and fabric scraps and pipe cleaners.




....sigh...

I didnt say anything. I told her ill see her next week.

She said "if im still alive ".

Oh..i did get a Christmas present :
- toilet chocolate.
...A box of Rafaellos she had stored on the toilet floor for me.

I thanked her, took them...kissed her goodbye.
Took my boxes of stuff.






I don't see my mum often
Theres a reason.





Thankyou for reading....i needed to vent
Edit: also the new pope Leo hasn't outlawed being gay at all. I googled it .
Top | New | Old
Lostpoet · M
I don't want to be old like that. Our parents lived in different times. It's nice that you went and visited her even though you have adverse feelings about how she treats you. I haven't talked to my parents in a very long time and don't intend to because of stuff that's happened in my life. You at least care enough about her to show up and help out.
@Lostpoet my mum has always been emotionally hard-ish, i think it comes from being a nurse all her life. Plus my dad isnt huge on emotions either.

I never thought itd get worse.

And youre right, they did grow up in different times.

The thing is, i dont think im really doing this because i care, i think its just old fashioned "obligation ', and there's really no one else .
My siblings dont see her that often either 🤷‍♀

Thanks for the talk. Its helped let some of the angst out.
🤗
Harmonium1923 · 56-60, M
I’m sorry, Oogie. But for me the heartwarming part of this story is how your daughter and her gf went with you, even though they knew what they were in for, and stayed calm and supportive. That is a very mature and loving (for you) thing to do. And it speaks well of you and them.

Merry Christmas, my friend! ❤
@Harmonium1923 yes.
That is a good point. .

Thanks for that 🤗
KiwiBird · 36-40, F
Hugs gf.
Geeze that was hard to read...😥
You can't choose family.
@KiwiBird nah you cant.

I just gotta remember that i had a childhood full of freedom and that my parents gave me the gift of an enquiring mind.

She worked hard
She wasnt the most expressive mum when it came to feelings.
But at least she was better than my dad.

Its just.....ugh, sometimes.

Its hard to be reminded that everyone else in the family is a genius.... and im not quite🤏

Its a high bar to be compared to🤷‍♀
KiwiBird · 36-40, F
@OogieBoogie You turned out mighty fine. ❤❤❤
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That sounds horrible. I'm sorry you and your daughter had to go through that. Makes me realize just how lucky I was
bookerdana · M
She might be suffering from dementia,a sense of the rudimentary aspects of civility and manners are totally lacking,but i understand🫂
@bookerdana Shes always been like this🙄

When i first rang her 25 yeaes ago to tell her i was pregnant, her reply was'
- "*pause*...well don't expect me to babysit"

I mean, i didn't know what to expect, maybe... "but you arent married"... or something,

...but that kinda killed the topic 😂
Ugh. You're a saint.
@NudasPriest well, no....no im not. I rarely see her any more.

I used to visit often.


Recently ive learnt to be selfish, care for myself first.

Which isn't being a good daughter.



But then, being a good daughter isnt part of my identity anymore 🤷‍♀
@OogieBoogie You're more saintly than was reasonably expected. How's that?
@NudasPriest 😂

🤗

Lemme just straighten my halo😏💅
GnomeyGee · 41-45, M
That reason is very clear.
@FreeLittleBird 🤗
Theres worse things.

Its just i have to spend a few hours now decompressing about it.

....and ive russled out some booze to help 😂

 
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