My mother and my life

We have a complex relationship. I’ll admit I’m messed up. I don’t really understand or maybe it’s hard to understand. But tonight, I know it sounds stupid, but she has sent me a lot of texts calling me hottie and hot and stuff and it is uncomfortable. I know that’s supposed to be normal. But it makes me feel weird. ESP.. lol.. ok I stumbled across someone I wouldn’t normally read into because it does trigger me. But I stumbled across Ed Kemper. I don’t actually want to talk about it but that was one of the worst things I’ve ever read about. I’ve struggled to sleep over it. So now those weird texts make me feel upset. lol. Speaking of Mother’s, well my exes was abusive and she is dying I think. And my ex is not contacting me so I don’t know what to do about that. Giving space obviously but I feel bad. I would like some hardcore therapy someday. I have a therapist but I don’t feel comfortable at this stage in my life. Gosh I’m 29 years old and my mother kinda made herself known to my therapist and that’s kinda why I don’t want to talk about things I probably should. I don’t think anyone would understand though. But I think I read some things and think yea I’m not normal.