Family member wants $ to help pay for a lavish party I cant afford for Mom. Why should I have to pay?

While our father was struggling for the last several years of his life, my brother refused to help him. I bought him food, got him health insurance when he had none and fell from several strokes, bought him clothes, and got him into several nursing care facilities.
Now, he wants to show off with a fancy bday party for Mom - an idea that I didn't like because I live only on savings; no income - and wants me to help pay the thousands he committed after he made all the decisions and arrangements without me.
I live with Mom part time - fixing everything in the house and cooking for her (and her worthless husband) almost daily. I pay for things in the house with my money.

Am I wrong for feeling that I shouldn't have to cough up money for something I didn't commit to do?

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SlippingAway · 46-50, F

No, he should have asked you before he made all those plans. He didn't give you a say and so he should pay for it all.

AmericanAvenger · 56-60, M

@SlippingAway And he has a windfall right now - He has just retired with a pension and has taken another job - that gives him 2 sources of income to my zero source (I am living on my savings now). Since we are not that close, I dont want there to be any bad feelings. He has always been on the materialistic, selfish side - the family joke about it. I am the opposite as I dont worship money and things like him (for instances, he drives a 700 series BMW and I drive Mom's old car. He has a wife with a job while I have no one). I made more than him for most of our careers so I always spent more on the family for things like birthdays and holidays over the last 30 years. But he doesn't even think about things like that.

How should I respond to his text requesting financial assistance?? The more I think about it, the more irritated I get that he is even asking me.

Thanks for reading and responding to this post. I have no one else to really ask

SlippingAway · 46-50, F

@AmericanAvenger I think you should be straight forward and say you don't have the funds to pay for that right now it's a frivolous expense at a time most people should be saving money (that goes for all of us) and if he wants to have a party for her he should pay for it all. It doesn't need to be that extravagant.

AmericanAvenger · 56-60, M

@SlippingAway Thanks - he has spent money already since the hall is booked and set for the party on Sunday. Suddenly he calls me last night to his house to discuss the plans that he and his wife have already made. He didn't mention money than but just sent me a text asking if I can help. I live frugally so he thinks I have a million dollars socked away (said as much to out Mom a few times)

SlippingAway · 46-50, F

@AmericanAvenger I'd just politely say no I don't have the money to spend on that. He shouldn't have done that last minute that's his bad.