Why does my mom go insane anytime I bring up that she and my dad should get a will for the house.

Or if I bring up my wishes that I can live in the house when they are gone. (I've lived with them most of my life and still do) I consider this my home. I've never been married, never had a real partner. I've struggled my whole life trying to make more money. They see this. But have no understanding of why I'd be better off in life here with a house my dad's father ended up paying off years ago. It is paid off and the only bills we have are internet and electric. They make up excuses that I won't be able to afford it, or like my mom mentioned tonight that I wouldn't keep it up or mow the grass. I told her no one has asked me to mow. Plus I'd be taking care of it more than they do. Weeds are completely overgrown in the garden. I'm about to take care of that myself soon. I trim the ivy off couple times a year. I'm the one taking care of ant problems we have. They sit and watch tv all day long while I'm washing dishes or dusting and whatever else. Why would a parent wish for me to be homeless versus just living in the house I've always known my whole life. It's not even a sensitive subject, but she treats it like it is!! Gets so irate when it is brought up

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Magicianzini · M

It is a sensitive subject.. for them. They most likely don't want to address any of this because it means they'd have to face their own mortality if they did so.

What are their plans for the house then, if they even have any..

Also, if you ever get them to yield concerning this, don't do a will. Just have them add you as co-owner. This way when they die, the house was already partly yours and you would then be the sole, remaining owner. Nothing to do in that situation except just take care of your house.

swandfriends · 41-45, F

They would never do that, let me be a co-owner. Even though I have a career and I'm multi-talented and smart, they have never looked at me in that kind of way. They have always thought of me as just this dumb little incapable person. Even if I had my own place, i didn't think I'd ever consider it home. This is my home and I'd hate to see it go. My daughter and her husband doesn't want to see it go either, and they have their own house. I've suggested to mom that she can even give it to my daughter or my sister who both have their own houses and are completely settled in life. My mom thinks my sister and I should just sell it. I don't want to do that for many, many different reasons

SledgeHammer · 46-50, M

@swandfriends if you're not showing any interest im maintaining the property now,,, what makes you think they believe you'll do it when they're gone. I mean if you show them you can do it and not just say you will do it , they may change their mind 🤷‍♂

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

@swandfriends

My mom thinks my sister and I should just sell it. I don't want to do that for many, many different reasons

Do you know what your sister has said to them about this?

Honestly, for your parents, this is the best way to resolve this problem when there is more than one child.

I am doing the same and my kids know this. I have told them that if one of them wants the house, they will need to buy the other half from their sibling. This way, it is between them. I know my daughter may not want the house and my son may not either, but neither knows where they will be in life at the time of my death, so I'm leaving that open.

It is also unfair in distribution of assets to give one child a property, and the rest not receive equal compensation. That also leads to lawsuits that ties up property even longer. I can see your sister being upset at not receiving anything of equal value because the value is mostly the property. How would you feel if your parents awarded the house to your sister and you everything else?

Dividing up property for any reason is difficult. Trying to do so to prevent bitterness and resentment between siblings is even harder. Death tends to bring out the worst in people who are supposedly family till money is involved.

My mom has informed me that shr has left all her inheritance to my kids and my sister's kids. I have always been good with that, but I know my sister won't be and will attempt to fight it. That is, if she doesn't spend all my mom's money before then.

In the end, it's 100% up to your parents on how they divide the property. You will have to prepare for that, knowing, you may be out of a home. I would start working towards making sure you have a different place to live before that time to make sure their passing doesn't impact you so completely.

JimboSaturn · 56-60, M

@SledgeHammer But the point is, the house is the bulk of their wealth probably, I can't imagine not willing it to my daughter.

swandfriends · 41-45, F

@SledgeHammer did you not see everything in my original post. Sure, they may mow the yard, but I trim the ivy that gets out of control and takes over the whole front porch, I want to pull these weeds in the old garden out here, but they are thick and have stocks on them. My mom is a hoarder. I have spent countless hours organizing and maintaining that over a course of 25 years or so. I find myself washing dishes, mine and theirs, while they watch tv all day. They love it when I cook and the taste of my cooking, so I do that sometimes. I take care of the pest control with these ants we've had last few years. I'm the only one that gives the dog fresh water on the front porch, I'm the only one that buys the dog toys or mats for her to be happy and comfortable. I'm the main one who seems to always take out the trash. And I would do a lot more if it were my own place. Sometimes I sit around myself when they are both here, because i don't want to be rushing around the whole house while they are trying to watch tv. When they are both gone, that's when I clean and really do things around here. I also have cleaned the garage out twice in the last few years, mom hoards it's back up. I cleaned the basement and cleaned junk off the front porch, mopped floors, etc, etc. Believe me, I care about this place more than they do. If I had not lived here off and on all these years. This place would be a complete disaster