My son thinks I don't love him. It brings on the self harm feelings very strongly.

I worked so hard to even get pregnant, I had fertility issues. And the moment they laid him on me he's all I ever wanted. It's been rough at times because I was alone and grieving, I know I have had my faults, but I've done everything for him and with him. Every step, I've been there. But I'm not a good mom. I'm tired. I'm alone. I failed him. I don't want encouragement. I don't need to hear that I am a good mom. I feel like complete crap.

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Pretzel · 70-79, M

Foxie if he is around 12 or so - saying "you don't love me" and "I hate you" are part of the male experience.

I suspect he knows you love him - it's the hormones and the need for independence rearing it's ugly head.

hang in there.

vic7ory

@Pretzel not independence but understanding

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@vic7ory that too

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Pretzel it's a little deeper than that. I am not done being punished for the van adventure. I really thought I was doing something amazing, but it was just traumatic for him. I didn't make the right choice and it hurt him.

Pretzel · 70-79, M

@ScreamingFox really? I would have thought that would have been a great time for him.

Sorry.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@Pretzel I thought so too, the problem was me

lilylovesgaming1986 · 36-40, F

@Pretzel I think we all go through those experiences. I hated my mom back then and she never gave up on me

PinkMoon · 26-30, F

@ScreamingFox Van adventure?

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@PinkMoon we lived and traveled in a van for a year. Across country.

being · 36-40, F

@ScreamingFox foxy the van experience will be his superpower in the future. Don't undermine or doubt it. But he'll have to reject it first and find out for himself.