I'm still intimidated by my dad as an adult and I feel guilty.
This was originally a response to someone else's post but it got me thinking and in my feels. I was always scared of my dad as a child, just the way he looks when he talks and how deep his voice is and the way he words things like they're written in stone.
As an adult I feel guilty because even when he just asks me basic questions and tries to be my friend I'm still on the defensive, I can't relax, I just try to find the shortest, best answer that will make him happy and he often interprets it as "disrespect" which just makes things even more tense.
He's pretty old now and I have to admit he can be pretty mean. But I feel like it's my fault for not always doing things the way that he would, the way that makes him happy. He has a lot of expectations for his kids and I've met almost none of them.
I just feel so terrible and like a huge failure.
He won't be around much longer. I'm running out of time.
As an adult I feel guilty because even when he just asks me basic questions and tries to be my friend I'm still on the defensive, I can't relax, I just try to find the shortest, best answer that will make him happy and he often interprets it as "disrespect" which just makes things even more tense.
He's pretty old now and I have to admit he can be pretty mean. But I feel like it's my fault for not always doing things the way that he would, the way that makes him happy. He has a lot of expectations for his kids and I've met almost none of them.
I just feel so terrible and like a huge failure.
He won't be around much longer. I'm running out of time.
