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swers. how do I respond to my sister?

so about 6 years ago my sister got divorce and she remarried about two years after the divorce. since she remarried her behavior with all of her siblings changed. at the beginning of her second marriage I would try chatting with her and ask her about her wellbeing etc.
she would respond weeks or even months later to my messages, but only to ask me annoying questions about decisions I've made in my own life and tell me how I should have done it differently... like did I ask for your opinion.. ?? also not like I was making poor lifestyle choice.

so I stop chatting with her personally, if anything it would be in the family group or if she would personally message me, I'd be straightforward with it.

just now she send me a message saying "so what happened with you not even chatting or calling me.."

I'm too nice to tell her how I feel about her behavior.. I wish I could maintain a relationship with her and be her friend and like an actual sister. but she judges me a lot in the past. 🙁

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You could be honest with her. You could say that you miss her presence as a sister but that you felt that she was a little more judgemental of you than supportive. You could explain that you are trying to navigate through your own life and, whilst grateful of guidance, would prefer to be given the space to grow and to make mistakes. You need love and friendship from her, not judgement.

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@ostfuidctyvm your response make me wanna cry 😭
because you have said the things I wanna tell her but I don't have the guts to do so.

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

@ostfuidctyvm Great advice and well put.

Fieldmaster · 46-50, M

You can be honest with her, stary by telling her that you also miss , and feel, you wish you could (if you do it) and then while maintaining your composure and without getting emotional. Tell her about how you felt. It is important for her to know that how you felt after each of those comments she made.

Stay calm and factual, dont raise your voice and convey. This will carry alot more weight.

I don't think there's anything wrong there.... There are many things in life that can alter your behavior at times.
Also, what's missing is, you should tell her about it, else she'll never know.

Acha hoga call pe batana nai to mil kar

View 1 more replies »

@FlowerPetal oh I didn't know... Tamil?

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@Royricky09 no I thought it was hindi but okay idk either. : D

@FlowerPetal lol.. No worries.. Msgd you... You may reply if you feel like it

Pretzel · 70-79, M

"oh, I thought I sent the last message to you and it was your turn to respond. Good to hear from you again"

and when she gets judgement say "I don't know why you feel free to comment on that since I didn't ask for your advice. I know it must come from a place of love but let's talk about something else"

Miram · 31-35, F

Tell her the truth.

Her reaction will show you whether or not it is wise for you two to maintain a relationship.

Don't expect anything. Do it as a part of moving forward no matter what needs be done.

Being "nice" sometimes prevents other people from growing besides hindering our own growth.

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@Miram I have no words to respond. though I know the answer I find it so difficulty to do it. but I must.

FoxyQueen · 51-55, F

This is exactly how you respond:

I wish I could maintain a relationship with her and be her friend and like an actual sister. but she judges me a lot in the past.

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@FoxyQueen ouch. thanks. 😭 I will try.

dale74 · MVIP

Is she older or younger?And by how many years

FlowerPetal · 22-25, F

@dale74 she's older by 10 yrs or so. I know you might assume she would talk to me to advise me, but it's more to pick on my decision making and judge it. her entire conversation revolve around that. if she knows my life now I have a strong feeling she would continue to do so, but I refuse to let her know anything about me.

dale74 · MVIP

@FlowerPetal why don't you send her a private text saying that you really have a hard time expressing yourself and it probably has to do with yo's age differences?

Tell her you're willing to try communicating more, but let's work on just communicating events that are happening in each other's life. But not necessarily commenting on whether we're doing the right thing or wrong thing

AngelKrish · 26-30, M

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