Who do you blame if kids grew up mess up?

Nature, Nurture and Choice. Even if a child grows up in a loving family with good parenting it doesn’t guarantee that they will not make bad choices and have lifelong problems as a result. I remember watching a talk show about a family where the couple had two daughters and wanted a son. They decided to adopt a baby boy instead of continuing to have a son naturally. They said by the time the boy was crawling and had started to get teeth he would crawl up to his two older sisters and bite chunks out of them. The problems only got worse as he got older. The mother said that they had never had problems with their two daughters. They got counseling for the boy and eventually told him that he was adopted when he got old enough. It made him much more hateful against them. He was threatening to kill them and set the house on fire. They hid all of the kitchen knives and anything that had the potential to become a weapon. And then they found out that the boy’s father was in prison for violent things. Before they had applied for adoption they had told the social worker that they had two daughters and wanted to make sure there were no such things in the baby’s background. She assured them everything was clear, the mother had gotten pregnant and couldn’t afford to raise the baby on her own. Apparently this was something genetic causing these severe mental problems.