I don't like people seeing me happy.

I don't like people seeing me eat. I don't like people seeing me smile. I'm embarrassed to. I feel like it makes me look dumb and people are judging me. I haven't earned it.

Yesterday a family member said something to make me feel bad about myself. In front of the rest of our very large family. It makes me want to hide more, which will offend them, and they'll just do more of that thing to make me feel bad about myself. They're going to catch me eating quickly so that nobody sees me enjoying something, and assume it's because I'm a fat pig.

Actually I'm losing weight by accident because I keep skipping meals and just drinking alcohol.

I'm not in good health. This is going to kill me.

People will respond to this with solutions. I've tried them all.