Estranged relatives.

Ive been estranged from a sister since maybe 2020ish after a big falling out. We used to be close when our parents were alive but after they died it exacerbated some already existing problems and we haven’t spoken in about 3 years. We had some friends in common and now when they ask how my sister is doing or what she is up to, I never know how to answer. I don’t really wanna air out dirty laundry or invite discussion about it. I also don’t wanna embarrass them for asking - Even extended family doesn't know anything about it and I don’t really wanna tell them either.

Whats a clever way to navigate to this awkward situation?

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Adrift · 61-69, F

I just casually say,
I dont know, I a haven't heard anything lately.
If they press further I just say everyone has been busy.
Then I just change the subject to something leading to more work related.

DoubleRings · 51-55, F

@Adrift I have said that but sometimes they are shocked. And I’m never sure why they are shocked either. Shes my sibling, I’m not married to her.

My aunt was palliative a couple years back and wanted to know why I didn’t come with my sister to visit her together. Immediately she asked “you’re not mad at each other are you?” Even if we weren’t estranged, we do live independent lives…(I did inform her of my aunt’s condition. She did not respond and did not pay a visit)

Adrift · 61-69, F

@DoubleRings Yeah those oppressed resentments do tend to surface up later after the relative your protecting passes away.
My sister and I have a similar relationship.
If they really press on and want to hear the truth, I would just let them have it.
"Since my aunts death, we have both gone our separate ways."
You and your sisters relationship is really nobody elses business.