How does having a baby change you?

Ok guys lately, I’ve been grappling with feelings of stagnation, often described as a midlife crisis. Recently, my partner and I learned that we are expecting a child. This news has prompted me to reflect on the potential impact of parenthood. For the parents here, How did the arrival of your child influence your life? and In what ways did becoming a parent affect your sense of purpose and fulfillment?

I would greatly appreciate your insights and experiences.

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WillaKissing · 56-60, M

Before my wife at the time delivered our first child life was simple and selfish with the need and things we did, but once the child was born it becomes about raising that in a safe healthy and happy home. We had a son then a daughter. So especially post divorced for me when both kids came to live with me over their mother life was not about what I wanted and needed but it became about what the kids needed and wanted.

Life changes when she gets pregnant for sure, but once that child is born that is when the work really begins, and you lose your hobbies and selfishness for a while. As my children aged and could do more with me then it became easier, and I loved sharing my knowledge and skills with them. When they hit their teenage years, it gets rough again letting go and letting them to make mistakes, so they know you were right in your warnings and teachings, and you get your life back post the child graduating high school

It was the greatest commitment struggle pain and enjoyment of my life.

Rogo1 · 36-40, M

Thanks you @WillaKissing , I really appreciate your insight it’s quite enlightening. I just want to ask a question, does having the baby stop the feeling you had for your ex and probably planned to start a family with ?

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@Rogo1 It changed not a thing about her to me. I maybe the odd guy out, but the more pregnant she became over time the more I wanted intimacy with her. I loved her for having my children, I quit loving her when she cheated way post the children's birth. She changed though obviously, and I cannot speak for the why's of that, because I am not her.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@Rogo1 No question is a stupid question to ask either, that is how we learn.

Rogo1 · 36-40, M

Thanks for the insight,@WillaKissing my partner is an amazing lady unfortunately she knows I still have deep feelings for my ex but she still hangs in there and it makes me feel guilty most times , I’m just hoping the child can probably give me a new perspective of life and starting a family. Probably I get to stop feeling for my ex and move on.

WillaKissing · 56-60, M

@Rogo1 Yeah, you better forget the ex. Focus on the woman you are having this child with. Men never think of the physical mess of having a baby has on a woman's body and health. She loves you enough to have your child, she deserves your full attention and not any other womanly distractions.

Rogo1 · 36-40, M

Thanks @WillaKissing , everyone in my life has said same thing but I don’t know why it’s really difficult for me . However I will really try to .