Do you believe that a parent is entitled to have contact with their adult child/children

or that they need to earn it?

After you’ve grown up and a shitty parent asks, pleads, demands your attention, do you give it?

Do you think oh, they gave me life, I should appreciate that and overlook the abuse/neglect/whatever because they thought they were doing their best?

Or do you say well damn, they should have educated themselves and done some introspection and some work so that they could have done better, and not caused me so much pain, and my life is better off without them in it, so they can just bugger off?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

Your adult relationship with your children is the reward for your parenting.

Akimbo75 · 46-50, F

@CountScrofula exactly. makes me nuts when they think it’s a right. like no, your child is not an extension of you. they are an actual individual person.

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@Akimbo75

your child is not an extension of you.

Exactly. This is where I've seen so many relationships fall apart. If you treat your child as a part of your own identity, then when that child differs from you it ends up being perceived as an attack or threat that has to be dealt with accordingly.