How do you cope when a parent dies?

My Dad died in early 1981 just two months before I turned 11, it's very difficult at the beginning, but it eventually turns into a numbness, I am so very sorry for your loss :(

dad has been gone since march 2009, mom gone since march 2022,,,dad died of cancer that the doctors messed up (failed to manage his colonoscopy results). mom died of smoking related issues...her death i might have been able to prevent had i nagged her more to quit...it is never easy. i think about both of them every day.

What you have is called "survivor's guilt".

When we lose someone, we think of all these ways we might have been able to stop it.
Even though it is not our fault, we feel responsible.

Of course it is out of our control but we think, "If I had said this, done that, if, if, if..."

My condolences on your loss.Don't dwell on the past and things you can't control. Remember the love and good times you shared and remember them that way. You might write down a few stories, experiences, humorous incidents , good times you had with them to share with your kids to help keep their memory alive. Bless you and your family.

I lost both mine when I was 35. It is still so soon for you, please don't worry. I'm sorry you lost your mom. You must be patient with yourself and you have to try to let go of what you can't change. Let it give you more empathy and patience for others in their struggles, but please don't beat yourself up. It won't change anything.

You'll cope with it your way. I still cry for my Mom once every week or two after five years. Be kind to yourself, you're going through a lot

You just cannot cope for a long time.

It's your own grief process, no one else's, it will take some time.

You wouldn't have stopped habits unless she wanted to stop. You might have driven them underground - but they won't stop.

it was her own life to live, not yours. youre not responsible for her death. sorry for your loss.

Just takes time

I can’t say known of mine died

Sorry to hear that 🤗.

Omg!! So sorry it's hard I lost my dad 8 years ago but I still feel him

My sincerest condolences..It’s a difficult process and you must take the time you need to grieve the loss.
But you mustn’t blame yourself for her choices; she was an adult. You couldn’t have controlled that, sadly. 🥺

I don't know what habit your mom had that you're referring to, but I can only tell you that if you could turn back the clock, no matter how much time you spent, no matter how much money you spent, your mother would still take her habits to the grave with her.

Your mom's habits were out of everyone's control, except the control of your mom which she chose to maintain. All you can do now is to forgive your mom and then forgive yourself for what you thought you could have otherwise done, but in fact you could have done nothing that was different.

Forgive yourself for taking responsibility for doing exactly what you DID do for your mom and then let it go.

Never was right again