Yesterday's event
With my wonderful mother.
So I was upstairs visiting with my husband after he got home from work. Then all of a sudden I hear my mom downstairs loudly yelling she needs help or Halloween "isn't going to happen". What she was referring to was a little booth she runs outside of our house to give out candy/food/do little activities for our neighborhood. It is a pet project of hers. None of the rest of us are really involved in it but sometimes we may help out. None of us were interested this year we all wanted to...you know have our own Halloween's.
However. I didn't want to make her have to haul out all the stuff for it on her own, she is older and physically disabled from various surgeries she has had to get. So I was going to go have my husband help her haul things. I was walking out to go say we would help....and then as I step out of my room I hear her yell that unless somebody helps her with her Halloween activity there will be no dinner, no one would be allowed to go out, etc....
My attitude changed entirely. I snapped at her that making threats to ask for help was NOT appropriate, especially when she did not ask ANYONE directly first (my room is close to where she was yelling, that is the only reason I heard her and knew about her needing help) and when what she is asking help for is an activity she came up with and wanted to do without consulting anyone else and is now trying to force participation w threats.
She responded by telling me I was treating her like a mental patient. I told her that's because she was acting like one of my patients. (Lol). I told her a more appropriate way to express her needs and explained that with something like a personal entertainment activity she comes up with, people may help her with it if they feel so moved....are available....feeling well.....she cannot just force people to help her like that...I was pointing out how it would hurt her relationships.
She then at one point said "You don't even eat with us, why do you care" basically. I don't eat with them. The only ones who eat my mom's cooking regularly and rely on it for food are my dad....and my high school age sisters.
I'm not concerned about my dad, he can make his own food he just tends to be an ass about it with my mom. I was yelling at her not because I was pissed about her not feeding me, I was pissed at her basically coming up w a punishment that would ONLY impact them and trying to take away their Halloween so she could have the Halloween she wanted. But she had no comprehension of this ☠ I like that my parents cannot even imagine someone considering someone outside of themselves ☠☠ HAHA.
Eventually she did...sort of apologize....she was basically like ok...and stopped raving over how I was overreacting/being mean/whatever as she always does when I call her out on her shit. But she didn't actually say sorry. She just ended w talking about her Halloween stand. Narcissists, amirite? 😮💨
Btw after she was very rude with me after I addressed her inappropriate behavior, I told her we were actually just coming to help her. But she said she didn't want my help anymore 🙄 and then proceeded to drag my younger brother into helping her. (He is an adult at least...but still. She is forever making him "serve" her too.)
Sigh. Just venting.
So I was upstairs visiting with my husband after he got home from work. Then all of a sudden I hear my mom downstairs loudly yelling she needs help or Halloween "isn't going to happen". What she was referring to was a little booth she runs outside of our house to give out candy/food/do little activities for our neighborhood. It is a pet project of hers. None of the rest of us are really involved in it but sometimes we may help out. None of us were interested this year we all wanted to...you know have our own Halloween's.
However. I didn't want to make her have to haul out all the stuff for it on her own, she is older and physically disabled from various surgeries she has had to get. So I was going to go have my husband help her haul things. I was walking out to go say we would help....and then as I step out of my room I hear her yell that unless somebody helps her with her Halloween activity there will be no dinner, no one would be allowed to go out, etc....
My attitude changed entirely. I snapped at her that making threats to ask for help was NOT appropriate, especially when she did not ask ANYONE directly first (my room is close to where she was yelling, that is the only reason I heard her and knew about her needing help) and when what she is asking help for is an activity she came up with and wanted to do without consulting anyone else and is now trying to force participation w threats.
She responded by telling me I was treating her like a mental patient. I told her that's because she was acting like one of my patients. (Lol). I told her a more appropriate way to express her needs and explained that with something like a personal entertainment activity she comes up with, people may help her with it if they feel so moved....are available....feeling well.....she cannot just force people to help her like that...I was pointing out how it would hurt her relationships.
She then at one point said "You don't even eat with us, why do you care" basically. I don't eat with them. The only ones who eat my mom's cooking regularly and rely on it for food are my dad....and my high school age sisters.
I'm not concerned about my dad, he can make his own food he just tends to be an ass about it with my mom. I was yelling at her not because I was pissed about her not feeding me, I was pissed at her basically coming up w a punishment that would ONLY impact them and trying to take away their Halloween so she could have the Halloween she wanted. But she had no comprehension of this ☠ I like that my parents cannot even imagine someone considering someone outside of themselves ☠☠ HAHA.
Eventually she did...sort of apologize....she was basically like ok...and stopped raving over how I was overreacting/being mean/whatever as she always does when I call her out on her shit. But she didn't actually say sorry. She just ended w talking about her Halloween stand. Narcissists, amirite? 😮💨
Btw after she was very rude with me after I addressed her inappropriate behavior, I told her we were actually just coming to help her. But she said she didn't want my help anymore 🙄 and then proceeded to drag my younger brother into helping her. (He is an adult at least...but still. She is forever making him "serve" her too.)
Sigh. Just venting.
