A Strange Weekend: Reflecting on Emotions, Family, and Big Life Changes(Long post alert)
This past weekend has felt like a whirlwind.
It’s been strange, to say the least. After managing to work all week without needing more time off, I was hopeful for some time to relax and maybe spend a little quality time with my mum.
She had planned to visit a few days—Tuesday, then Wednesday—but she finally settled on Thursday. That day, however, brought nothing but rain. It poured relentlessly, and for some reason, I feel like I see her less and less as time goes on.
Still, she came round, and we had the chance to talk about a few things that had been weighing on me.
Despite making significant milestones in my relationship and pregnancy, I can’t help but feel anxious about all these big changes. They’re exciting, but they come with natural fears, too.
Unfortunately, my mum visited right after my counseling session, which wasn’t ideal.
After emotionally offloading everything in therapy, I hadn’t yet processed it all. So when she asked me about what we discussed, I ended up saying more than I should have.
I hadn’t given myself time to decompress, and her questions only heightened my anxious thoughts. I was left worrying about whether I’d said too much, or if I’d been defensive out of paranoia, trying to save face in situations where I felt slightly hurt.
I’m now considering changing my therapy day, hoping to see if maybe that’ll help the emotional overflow.
By the time my mum left—almost at midnight—I hadn’t had much sleep, and my baby has a habit of waking me up at 3 AM for a bathroom trip.
The lack of rest, paired with everything I had been thinking about, left me drained—both mentally and emotionally. As I write this, I still feel drained, unsure of how I’m really feeling.
Saturday brought a mix of emotions. We went for a 4D scan of the baby, and while I was beyond stressed, everything looked good. Baby is growing and developing well, according to the sonographer and midwife. It was such an intimate and beautiful experience. Even now, it’s hard to believe I’m growing a little human inside me.
On the way back, my mum came over to help with the dog, as I was going to meet my partner’s family.
I showed her the photos from the scan, and although she was excited, something felt off.
She took the dog for a walk, but what should have been a quick outing turned into a 40-minute trip. She stopped for coffee. But I started to grow concerned, I also I wanted more time to say a proper goodbye before we left, but she came in just as we were heading out. That unsettled me, and it didn’t help when our dog, Bruno, acted out, jumping up and nipping at her. He’s been clingy lately, and the chaos of the moment only added to my nerves.
Meeting my partner’s family was another layer of stress. His mum makes me uncomfortable sometimes. A few comments and glances during the visit left me feeling uneasy. I know these are big changes for everyone, but I hoped they would be happy for my boyfriend—he’s finally found someone who loves and cares for him. The meal went fine overall, nothing bad happened, but the conversation took some turns I wasn’t used to. I’ll leave it at that. Let’s just say it gave me a better understanding of why my partner jokingly calls his aunt "the crazy one."
Later that evening, we went to the pub, and I found myself in a strange situation. I needed the loo, so I headed downstairs, where I saw three men harassing a woman. I stepped in, asking if she was okay, and the men quickly ran off. The woman thanked me and even blew a kiss to my baby bump after noticing my “baby on board” badge. Under different circumstances, I might have found that gesture over-the-top, but in that moment, it was really sweet.
I don’t remember much of the night after that, except that when we got home, we laughed a lot. Maybe I needed that release after everything.
By Sunday, I felt hungover—though I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. I was simply exhausted, with emotions running high and little time to rest. I hadn’t taken my usual afternoon nap, and the late nights were catching up with me. It didn’t help that I had plans to tackle something heavy—sorting through my father’s old clothes. Just discussing the plan with my partner in the café left me teary-eyed. He noticed and did his best to diffuse the situation, settling the bill and taking me to a local shop to pick up essentials. I was grateful for the distraction.
Now, as I lie in bed, I feel like I need another two days off to recover. Malaise is the best word I can think of to describe how I’m feeling. Not exactly sick, just… off. Weird. A mix of emotions I can’t quite put into words.
This has highlighted how overwhelming life can be right now. Between pregnancy, family dynamics, and my own mental health, it’s no wonder I’m feeling drained.
Ah well, Tomorrow is a new day!
It’s been strange, to say the least. After managing to work all week without needing more time off, I was hopeful for some time to relax and maybe spend a little quality time with my mum.
She had planned to visit a few days—Tuesday, then Wednesday—but she finally settled on Thursday. That day, however, brought nothing but rain. It poured relentlessly, and for some reason, I feel like I see her less and less as time goes on.
Still, she came round, and we had the chance to talk about a few things that had been weighing on me.
Despite making significant milestones in my relationship and pregnancy, I can’t help but feel anxious about all these big changes. They’re exciting, but they come with natural fears, too.
Unfortunately, my mum visited right after my counseling session, which wasn’t ideal.
After emotionally offloading everything in therapy, I hadn’t yet processed it all. So when she asked me about what we discussed, I ended up saying more than I should have.
I hadn’t given myself time to decompress, and her questions only heightened my anxious thoughts. I was left worrying about whether I’d said too much, or if I’d been defensive out of paranoia, trying to save face in situations where I felt slightly hurt.
I’m now considering changing my therapy day, hoping to see if maybe that’ll help the emotional overflow.
By the time my mum left—almost at midnight—I hadn’t had much sleep, and my baby has a habit of waking me up at 3 AM for a bathroom trip.
The lack of rest, paired with everything I had been thinking about, left me drained—both mentally and emotionally. As I write this, I still feel drained, unsure of how I’m really feeling.
Saturday brought a mix of emotions. We went for a 4D scan of the baby, and while I was beyond stressed, everything looked good. Baby is growing and developing well, according to the sonographer and midwife. It was such an intimate and beautiful experience. Even now, it’s hard to believe I’m growing a little human inside me.
On the way back, my mum came over to help with the dog, as I was going to meet my partner’s family.
I showed her the photos from the scan, and although she was excited, something felt off.
She took the dog for a walk, but what should have been a quick outing turned into a 40-minute trip. She stopped for coffee. But I started to grow concerned, I also I wanted more time to say a proper goodbye before we left, but she came in just as we were heading out. That unsettled me, and it didn’t help when our dog, Bruno, acted out, jumping up and nipping at her. He’s been clingy lately, and the chaos of the moment only added to my nerves.
Meeting my partner’s family was another layer of stress. His mum makes me uncomfortable sometimes. A few comments and glances during the visit left me feeling uneasy. I know these are big changes for everyone, but I hoped they would be happy for my boyfriend—he’s finally found someone who loves and cares for him. The meal went fine overall, nothing bad happened, but the conversation took some turns I wasn’t used to. I’ll leave it at that. Let’s just say it gave me a better understanding of why my partner jokingly calls his aunt "the crazy one."
Later that evening, we went to the pub, and I found myself in a strange situation. I needed the loo, so I headed downstairs, where I saw three men harassing a woman. I stepped in, asking if she was okay, and the men quickly ran off. The woman thanked me and even blew a kiss to my baby bump after noticing my “baby on board” badge. Under different circumstances, I might have found that gesture over-the-top, but in that moment, it was really sweet.
I don’t remember much of the night after that, except that when we got home, we laughed a lot. Maybe I needed that release after everything.
By Sunday, I felt hungover—though I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol. I was simply exhausted, with emotions running high and little time to rest. I hadn’t taken my usual afternoon nap, and the late nights were catching up with me. It didn’t help that I had plans to tackle something heavy—sorting through my father’s old clothes. Just discussing the plan with my partner in the café left me teary-eyed. He noticed and did his best to diffuse the situation, settling the bill and taking me to a local shop to pick up essentials. I was grateful for the distraction.
Now, as I lie in bed, I feel like I need another two days off to recover. Malaise is the best word I can think of to describe how I’m feeling. Not exactly sick, just… off. Weird. A mix of emotions I can’t quite put into words.
This has highlighted how overwhelming life can be right now. Between pregnancy, family dynamics, and my own mental health, it’s no wonder I’m feeling drained.
Ah well, Tomorrow is a new day!
31-35, F
