My grandparents relationship is tough to watch...
My grandmother became a stay at home mum after she injured her back. When she was roughly in her 30s.
My grandfather worked in a company called good years for 40 years.
Working his way up the ranks and earning various certificates.
They always worked as a team in the home sharing tasks.
But I've noticed over the last 15 maybe even 20 years. My grandmother orders my grandfather around a lot.
They have stopped going to church, they refuse to join a new one. They don't have visitors other than family and workmen.
They don't want to join any elders clubs. They refuse to go for a walk to engage in any other kind of exercise...
So they have become incredibly "old". After the lockdown they became worried and moan a lot more.
My grandfather has been diagnosed with dementia too.
My nan orders my granddad around a lot!
Sometimes just as he is about to sit down she's sending him to do something else.
He seems to be forgetting to take his tablets and restricts his diet a lot.
Which isn't healthy.
But he's constantly complaining of having severe headaches.
So he will attempt to lay down and sleep but can't because yet again another order is being barked or my grandmother is heading upstairs to see why he's left her downstairs.
I always noticed that if I spend more than a couple of days. They start to change in their attitude.
My grandfather eats better, and is able to sleep.
While my grandmother has to stop ordering my grandfather around as much because I either intervene by telling my grandmother off especially when he's just said his head is hurting or I tell him to sit down and get it for her.
Combined they stop repeating themselves as much and they come across calmer in nature.
My grandfather loves my nan dearly and I know she loves him in her own way. But I really struggle to watch this dynamic between them.
I'm not sure why she does this but it is something my mum complained about growing up. My grandmother was very controlling, including needing to know their every thought.
My uncles and aunts leave them to this very unhealthy dynamic. But what I find more interesting is that when my uncles come around my grandmother will dote on them and more or less serve them. Fetching and carrying refusing to accept help. Whilst my aunts and mum will come round and they can fend for themselves or she'll act like what they do isn't good enough.
There's a lot to unpick here!
I need another holiday to recover from all of this tbh.
My grandfather worked in a company called good years for 40 years.
Working his way up the ranks and earning various certificates.
They always worked as a team in the home sharing tasks.
But I've noticed over the last 15 maybe even 20 years. My grandmother orders my grandfather around a lot.
They have stopped going to church, they refuse to join a new one. They don't have visitors other than family and workmen.
They don't want to join any elders clubs. They refuse to go for a walk to engage in any other kind of exercise...
So they have become incredibly "old". After the lockdown they became worried and moan a lot more.
My grandfather has been diagnosed with dementia too.
My nan orders my granddad around a lot!
Sometimes just as he is about to sit down she's sending him to do something else.
He seems to be forgetting to take his tablets and restricts his diet a lot.
Which isn't healthy.
But he's constantly complaining of having severe headaches.
So he will attempt to lay down and sleep but can't because yet again another order is being barked or my grandmother is heading upstairs to see why he's left her downstairs.
I always noticed that if I spend more than a couple of days. They start to change in their attitude.
My grandfather eats better, and is able to sleep.
While my grandmother has to stop ordering my grandfather around as much because I either intervene by telling my grandmother off especially when he's just said his head is hurting or I tell him to sit down and get it for her.
Combined they stop repeating themselves as much and they come across calmer in nature.
My grandfather loves my nan dearly and I know she loves him in her own way. But I really struggle to watch this dynamic between them.
I'm not sure why she does this but it is something my mum complained about growing up. My grandmother was very controlling, including needing to know their every thought.
My uncles and aunts leave them to this very unhealthy dynamic. But what I find more interesting is that when my uncles come around my grandmother will dote on them and more or less serve them. Fetching and carrying refusing to accept help. Whilst my aunts and mum will come round and they can fend for themselves or she'll act like what they do isn't good enough.
There's a lot to unpick here!
I need another holiday to recover from all of this tbh.
31-35, F
