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Co parenting

I have a 6.ontj old baby and I'm trying so hard to make it work with her dad. She needs to keep to her schedule as much as possible he has an hour with her on friday and that's for 4 weeks after that it will increase to 2 hours for next month.
We had broken up before I knew I was pregnant he's seen her once in March as he told me not to contract him as he was taking me to court as he didn't agree on my arrangements but through court I told them same thing and he had to agree to it.
He's currently taking her to surestart sessions which is good for both of them as he learns how to look after her and her needs as he hasn't done any parenting courses and it's first kid
Thing I want to know is am I being too much asking him to keep to her schedule?
He will do next month in the community which he intends to walk around with her in the community which isn't beneficial to them both as she will most likely sleep so I told him about her schedule of her baby sensations and baby messy play sessions she has but he's not going to do it as he will do whatever he likes with her and it's not my concern.
Am I being to much? Am I wrong in wanting her to keep to a schedule?

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WhyThooo · 31-35

He shouldn't even have her if he can't stand to find that important as her parent. God. Men. So annoying. But yeah obviously not unreasonable, he needs to step up or get out of the way.

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MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@WhyThooo he doesn't work either so it's not like he has alot of commitments.
We are back in court in October so if he's not gonna work with me he will see what court does as he's going against what the court said

WhyThooo · 31-35

@MiraRoss Hope the court acts appropriately. Dude is probably gonna get what he asked for with his actions, less time with his daughter, then complain about how you and the court system are evil for it lol. As they do.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@WhyThooo this is the 3rd time making it work I've tried my best

Jennster · 18-21, F

I think it’s important to keep to schedule

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Jennster definitely

Fluffybull · F

You're not being unreasonable. If he's not going to be reliable, consistent and happy to work with you then he's not worth bothering about. I imagine you've got enough on your plate without having to chase him up to see that he keeps appointments and does something worthwhile with your daughter? ❤️

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Fluffybull I have two other kids and all there appointments and mine too this is 3rd time to make it work don't know what more I can do

Fluffybull · F

@MiraRoss He's never going to learn, then. What support do you have? Parents/siblings/childcare professionals? Do you know other mums to talk to?

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Fluffybull I have my mum and 3 siblings I have a social worker also involved and a family worker as well as a company called cafcass but there not great. And no I don't know anyone else who's in same situation but I'm in middle of doing an online course I have to do that court said we need to do

fun4us2b · M

If he's going to be a parent he should do what will help the child thrive.

It is ok to deviate a little so the baby can have varied life experiences - but not radically where it throws things off.

He may really want to consider what his role will be and what sacrifices he's willing to make going forward

This might be too preachy, but maybe you can find a better article that says what you want to say

https://www.elitedaily.com/life/parenthood-absent-father/1512985

I hope it works out.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@fun4us2b thank you so much

Spoiledbrat · F

I think when he's with her it's his gig. You guys should talk it out.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Spoiledbrat all we do it talk it out he has no respect he's only doing this for his mum and he constantly tries to be in control 3rd time this

Wintertime2024 · 31-35, M

I have been doing it for 12 years and in my case nothing has improved. You can only control your own parenting style and hope for the best.

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Wintertime2024 that sounds stressful can't be good for the kid either

Wintertime2024 · 31-35, M

Always difficult to co-parent!

MiraRoss · 31-35, F

@Wintertime2024 this my first time I'm trying to make it work for him but leia is most important not us her he should be happy to be with her

Wintertime2024 · 31-35, M

Certainly isnt Mira

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