I hate it here

It doesnt matter. Nothing i do matters. Nothing i say matters. I dont even matter. So what does it matter? They'll never listen to me, i just wanted to help. I wanted to help my struggling parents. I was gonna sell my old phone for 1,700. Keep the 700 andgive my mom the 1000. But no. I have to guve my old phone to my dad whos a stupid spoiled entitled ass and doesnt deserve it. Why do i have to sufrer the consequences of his phone breaking? Its his fault for over using it and being negletcful and stupid abt. Why do i have to pay for this. I just wanted to help. I thought i was finally gonna make a decision for myself. A decision that I'll make. I was gonna use the money to start up my art commissions. I wanted to help my mom financially, but now shes making me feel guilty that we dont have money to buy dad a new phone. I dont care. I hate him. I hate dad. I hate him sm. I wish he was dead. He doesnt do anything for this family. Hes a lazy dead beat and an alcoholic with no self control and anger issues. I cant have shit in this house. What am i even gonna do now? I dont have anymore money to support my phone credit. I was gonna use that money for that. Now im just depresssed and all the more angry. Angry at my dad. Angry at my mom. Angry at myself. Im not eating tonight, i dont have the appetite.