Am I wrong for wanting to move away from my parents?

I am 34 years old and live with my parents. I live with them not because I have to, but because I want to. I've been helping them out financially for the past 8-9 years. Both my parents had surgery, so I help them out with heavy lifting, and things that have to do with technology (sending emails, fixing electronics etc..) basically they are too dependent on me. They plan to retire soon, and the goal was for me to take over the apartment after they leave. The biggest issue I have with them is I have no privacy at all. They are like helicopter parents who hover over and watch my every move. They have to understand that I am an adult, and they need to treat me as such. Even when I go out at night to enjoy life with friends, they get upset when I get home late. I have 2 older siblings they have contributed little to nothing the household. However, they had their own rooms while I've been sleeping in the living room. Despite being the youngest, my older siblings and parents often turn to me to borrow money and take forever to pay it back. My sister finally moved out and I finally got a room to myself. One concern my parents have is the fact that I drink, the only reason they found out is by going in my room and looking through my stuff. I currently have a girlfriend and can't even bring her over for some personal time because I know we will have no privacy. The one thing that I feel I should have done by now is get my license and a car. As their son, I have done everything that I should have done. Stayed out of trouble, graduated college, and got have a career. Even my career they don't agree with. They want me to be a lawyer, nurse, doctor, or accountant. One of those high value, high paying jobs. I am a simple person, and just love and enjoy the simple things in life. I don't care about expensive clothes, houses and cars. They are too concerned with what people around them and in our church think. Honestly, I am sick and tired of putting my life on hold for them. I appreciate everything they have done for me, but I have to start living my own life. I spoke with one of my aunts, and even she said I need to move away from my parents in order to move forward with life.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

It's completely understandable that you're feeling the desire to move away from your parents' home and establish your independence. At 34 years old, you are an adult with your own needs, desires, and aspirations. Here are some points to consider:

Independence and Personal Space: It's natural to want privacy and autonomy as an adult. Living with parents who hover over you and monitor your every move can be stifling and prevent you from fully embracing your independence.

Family Dynamics: It's commendable that you've been supporting your parents financially and assisting them with various tasks, but it's important for them to recognize and respect your boundaries as an adult. It's not unreasonable for you to expect to be treated as such.

Career and Life Choices: Your career and lifestyle choices should be yours to make, not dictated by your parents' expectations or societal pressures. Pursuing a career that aligns with your interests and values, even if it's not one of the professions your parents prefer, is crucial for your own fulfillment and happiness.

Relationships: Your ability to maintain personal relationships, such as with your girlfriend, can be hindered by the lack of privacy and autonomy in your current living situation. Moving out and establishing your own space can allow you to nurture these relationships and live more freely.

Support System: It's encouraging that your aunt supports your decision to move away from your parents. Surrounding yourself with people who understand and respect your choices can provide valuable support as you navigate this transition.

Ultimately, moving away from your parents' home is a significant step toward living life on your own terms and pursuing your own goals and aspirations. It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your parents about your decision and reassure them that your love and appreciation for them remain unchanged. Remember that prioritizing your own well-being and happiness is not selfish—it's essential for your personal growth and fulfillment.