Creating family through adoption!

Why do kids stay in the foster care system for years when there’s families who want to adopt them? I went to an adoption event/seminar type thing and there were so many families there that wanted some of the children/teens there because they connected but it’s up to the social worker to say if it’s a good match. How does a social worker determine if it’s a “good match”?

Also, I connected with a 14 year old and her social worker said it’s not the best time for her to bring up the idea of a possible new family. She recently had a placement disrupted cause she told the family she wants to try to reunite with birth mom at 18. (Isn’t foster care about reunification anyway?!) So, I’m confused why this child was at the event and being “advertised “ in a way if her social worker does not want her to be adopted right now? Does that make any sense to you? If so please enlighten me lol.

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BohemianBabe · M

It is kinda strange. There are so many regulations in place, for better or worse, when it comes to adoption. But anyone can legally give birth.

Raaii · 22-25, F

@BohemianBabe exctly

in10RjFox · M

This is an area that is left unattended. There is not yet a parent association to develop regulations and support individuals/ groups that come forward. It's also lame to think only a parent can adopt as a child, for an individual can also relate to another as a brother/ sister.

Given a choice, you would love to have a sister or brother..

Social workers just need to ensure that they have matched both ends appropriately. Why not propose being a sister to the 14 yo .. and write how you plan to lead a life with her and how you would help in finding her birth mother .

14 yo should be as matured .. and once the two of you come to a written understanding, just submit the document to the social worker.. it would be called a tripartite agreement.

This way you become siblings by adoption and not parent/ child.

Fifidog · 26-30, F

@in10RjFox that’s actually a really great idea I love it! Social worker says she doesn’t want to propose the idea of me wanting to get to know 14yr old because of the recent disrupted placement and says she’s not doing well. What should my next steps be? Do I wait?

in10RjFox · M

@Fifidog Never wait .. keep doing the next best thing. How do you communicate with the social worker? If by phone, switch to emails .. Draft a proposal addressed to the ward via the social worker and ask her to deliver to the ward.

Now that videos is easy, make a video addressed to the ward and convey to her how you want her as a sister.

Social worker cannot procrastinate for too long.

Oster1 · M

No! Read between the lines. The world over, is experiencing the same. Ask yourself, why?

SW-User

She recently had a placement disrupted cause she told the family she wants to try to reunite with birth mom at 18.

which is totally natural, lol. The prospective family should've been aware of that.

SW-User

This sounds shady

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