My husband thinks that autism is an excuse for attention.

Married 3 years to a good guy but he thinks I spoil my son when I visit him 1 or 2 times a week. I teach him to cook, bake, do laundry and wash up in his appartment. What am i doing wrong? My husband is not my son's father (he died). How can someone not understand that i love my son and want to help him be self sufficient. I'm not a psychiatrist so i can't help him in that area. But i can love and support and encourage my son. I don't understand how this nice person doesn't get it.

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Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

He wants to see him improve and sometimes tough love is the trick to self improvement. He’s also not the bio father so the unconditional love isn’t there…..

Savanah · 61-69, F

@Quetzalcoatlus My son and I were abused by my son's father. Tough love right now would not be helpful. We suffered alot at the hand of his father. I forgave him. He passed away. My present husband is not verbally abusive but he doesn't have an autistic child so he doesn't understand.

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@Savanah It’s a tough situation to be in. Tried therapy?

Savanah · 61-69, F

@Quetzalcoatlus Yes and it helped me but not so much my son. There are things my son doesn't understand. He's stuck on the not forgiving anyone who hurt him. PTSD is not easy to cure.

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@Savanah Yea I’m sure he probably needs prolonged therapy for years or decades. Does he live in a group home or have social workers who can help?

Savanah · 61-69, F

@Quetzalcoatlus My son lives in his own appartment but his therapist is full of promising words but little action.

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@Savanah My brother is special needs. Every region has organizations that help those with mental disabilities. Contact your County health dept, they’ll point you in the right direction. My bro has a social worker assigned to him that facilitates home training, meds management, recreation etc…

Savanah · 61-69, F

@Quetzalcoatlus We are from Montreal Canada and waiting lists for any care is 1 year and more. For me or my son. It's not easy. He's discouraged with the help he does have and i understand. So many people needing so many services. I get it. But my son gets frustrated when things promised don't come through

Quetzalcoatlus · 46-50, M

@Savanah yeah, it’s the same here in the US. Services are limited and there are waiting lists but with the patience and tenacity you can make it happen. My mom got him into the system at a young age so as he turned into an adult, it was easier to transition.