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I don't know what to do about my little sister.

This isn't a vent nor a rant. I am genuinely concerned about her. Our relationship has improved a lot over a few months and we tend to stop arguing with each other. I tried to enforce my big sister/sibling privilege on her so she can vent, rant, chat, talk to me about anything; get things off her chest. It worked.

So, here's my concern.
There's a pregnant 17yo (about to be 18 next month) and she's about to have her baby next month. She's been picking fights at school as well. Her best friend had to move schools because they had a fall-out, which caused them to physically fight. Her best friend didn't like the drama, so she moved schools. (Moving schools, as in mean moving to another city).
On Monday, this week, the 17yo came at my 14yo sister, fought her, because someone was was instigating, telling the 17yo that there's a Tik Tok of my sister talking shit about her. My sister vented to me about what happened at school, in the cafeteria. She told me that in the middle of the fist fight, the 17yo blacked/passed out. Now the 17yo is going around, telling everyone that my sister kicked her in the stomach.

Weeks before this even occured, my sister told me about if the 17yo starts a fight with her again, she'll kick her in her stomach and kill her baby. I told her the consequences of her would-be actions and she said she didn't care. I asked her if it'd be worth it, and she told me, "Yes." Cannot convince her otherwise. I didn't get mad at her and tried to lecture her about how serious her conspiracy was and how she could go to juvenile for that, because we both are just now getting along without any fights and heated arguments.
When she was telling me how the fight went in the cafeteria, I was holding my breath, waiting for the part where my sister tells me that she kicked the 17yo's belly. That part never came and I was relieved.

Both me and my sister agreed that the 17yo should be the bigger person and ignore any instigators that'll rile her up to fight. She's pregnant, for crying out loud. Not only that, she's going to be 18 next month.
I know I may sound like a hypocrite, but at least I tried my hardest to ignore. And I'm not a fighter, unless provoked. I wasn't pregnant either. It wasn't the words I was trying my hardest to not hit, it was my little brother's actions (spitting, licking and hitting me on purpose).

My little sister... she can be... disgusting at times. She dug a pregnant test out of a dumpster and licked the part where you pee on it. She even licked her own dried period blood. She always eats most of our baby sister's (4) food and doesn't care.
She also sexualizes herself by twerking and taking mirror booty pictures.

I just hope this is a phase and not her personality.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
"I just hope this is a phase and not her personality."

Well, it's both, right. This is your sister, and this is who she is. However, she will also change as she gets older and hopefully mature and her behaviour will become less uh, antisocial for lack of a better word. Not gonna lie that's really concerning though.

Everyone is "that way" for a reason and knowing what that reason is may help figure out how you should be responding as her big sister. Like has she ever been through severe trauma or other really awful destabilizing situations in her life?
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Xalvadora God I'm so sorry. Your family life sounds like a perfect breeding ground for some severe mental health issues. The manipulative behaviour and lying sounds like NPD or BPD, both are possibilities.

She needs professional assistance and of course she's going to fight against that and it sounds like your family won't support but that's the solution.

Legit, you need to protect yourself as well.
Xalvadora · 18-21, F
@CountScrofula Yeah... The thing is, both my siblings and I are associated with the local community mental health and they never let her stick with a therapist.
Some even told me to talk to her, but what's that going to do? I'm not s professional? I may know a lot more than my family does, and just because I'm her sister, does not mean she'll listen to me, and they fail to realize that not all siblings will listen to the oldest.

I'm trying to protect myself the best way I can. I'm already approved for assiantace housing, I just need to give them a source of income and I'll be set. After that, I can finally live on my own.
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
@Xalvadora Helll yeah, getting out on your own is the best thing here. And yeah mental health services are limited and awful for most people, it's rough. It's what she needs but it's not like a magical cure. I hope your sister finds some stability as she gets older but getting to a safe place on your own needs to be priority #1.
Viper · M

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