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Feeling guilty and shitty 😒

I have a really confusing/bad/whatever(?) relationship with my mother. I moved across the country years ago, to go to college but mostly to get away from my family.

Over the years, my mum and I would talk periodically, but now that I'm not giving her money anymore, and we have very different political views, she doesn't contact me, and I don't contact her.

But I am still her daughter and I feel a responsibility to speak with her and care about her, as I know she still did her best to raise me in bad circumstances.

I haven't seen her in over ten years, so it's easy for me to forget about her. Sad as it is to say... Heartless as it seems. And when I do remember her, I just think about having to listen to her political rants and anger (she often ends up making me quite upset, she's very homophobic and intolerant and on and on). She doesn't really listen to what I say and doesn't respect my opinions, she brushes off anything I might relay to her about my own struggles (I stopped bothering to tell her).

Anyway, her birthday is coming up and I am feeling like I should contact her. Maybe I should send a card instead of a phone call? I don't know?

Am I a bad person?
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you are not a bad person. i can go months without talking to my mom and tbh, i would be ok if i never called her. you are doing what is best for you and you do still love her. send her a card. seriously. that’s it. ❤️ shows you thought of her, and you still care. and you don’t want to reach out further than that.
caccoon · 36-40
@deathfairy thank you 💙🥺 it is hard. I haven't spoken to her at all in a couple of years now and it's hard to break the barrier. I'm sorry things are hard with your mum too

I'll send her a card, you're right 💙 it makes me feel terribly guilty but it's something