This is not my fight and no I will not suffer the consequences for your actions
I’m conflicted on whether or not I should help my dad with this because it could cause problems between my siblings and I. I’m currently in good standing with most of them so I’m leaning towards no unless I can figure out how to do it without being blamed.
The situation is that since my mom passed away he’s been helping most of them financially. She passed away in 2017. He’s paid two of my sisters rent since then so that’s give or take $1000 each every month for nearly 5 years, that’s $120,000 combined for just them. He’s paid off cars for each of them and now I find out that he’s been paying $350 a month for my brothers student loan. I’m not going to discount him paying for school for me for a year, so it’s not like I didn’t receive anything but it’s not comparable to what the others received.
So we’re talking last night, and he is going over what he has given out and he asks if I could somehow bring it up in the group text that he can’t afford this because he doesn’t know how to bring it up, and he feels like he’s being taken advantage of now. The thing is is he can’t afford this and couldn’t afford to give all that away because he retired at 55, disabled , as soon as she died. He needs every penny he’s got so he doesn’t have to go back to work. They are draining an account that has no way of being replenished and I’m afraid we’re all going to have to support him because of this at some point, and based off how they are with money, it’s not going to fall on them.
So bring it up to my siblings? (Two sisters would lose $1000 a month that they use to pay rent or bills, they both have jobs) ( brother wouldn’t get his private student loan paid for each month $350) so my dad would hold onto $2350 a month and that would stop the bleeding. But…. he wants me to bring it up because he’s a wimp and he wants to avoid the backlash that would surely happen, and most likely it would drive a wedge between me and them. I mean that’s a big hit financially, especially these days.
I’m thinking of not doing anything, or maybe coaching him on what to say. Because this isn’t my fight, and the consequences that will result in me getting involved would be long lasting and are also not mine to own.
The situation is that since my mom passed away he’s been helping most of them financially. She passed away in 2017. He’s paid two of my sisters rent since then so that’s give or take $1000 each every month for nearly 5 years, that’s $120,000 combined for just them. He’s paid off cars for each of them and now I find out that he’s been paying $350 a month for my brothers student loan. I’m not going to discount him paying for school for me for a year, so it’s not like I didn’t receive anything but it’s not comparable to what the others received.
So we’re talking last night, and he is going over what he has given out and he asks if I could somehow bring it up in the group text that he can’t afford this because he doesn’t know how to bring it up, and he feels like he’s being taken advantage of now. The thing is is he can’t afford this and couldn’t afford to give all that away because he retired at 55, disabled , as soon as she died. He needs every penny he’s got so he doesn’t have to go back to work. They are draining an account that has no way of being replenished and I’m afraid we’re all going to have to support him because of this at some point, and based off how they are with money, it’s not going to fall on them.
So bring it up to my siblings? (Two sisters would lose $1000 a month that they use to pay rent or bills, they both have jobs) ( brother wouldn’t get his private student loan paid for each month $350) so my dad would hold onto $2350 a month and that would stop the bleeding. But…. he wants me to bring it up because he’s a wimp and he wants to avoid the backlash that would surely happen, and most likely it would drive a wedge between me and them. I mean that’s a big hit financially, especially these days.
I’m thinking of not doing anything, or maybe coaching him on what to say. Because this isn’t my fight, and the consequences that will result in me getting involved would be long lasting and are also not mine to own.
36-40, M
