Rediscovered this comment from my grandma from years ago 🥺
I was in 9th grade writing the post. I was barely figuring out that I don't believe in religion anymore & my grandma said something that was so nonchalant but everything I was beginning to understand as well. I had no idea she felt the same way as I do because we never got a chance to be in each others lives 🙁 but seeing her comment now means as much to me as it always did for some reason.
Anyway, I still don't believe in religion but I do believe in a higher power. I say "god" sometimes but I feel like it can be any name or anything really, maybe not even a gender or being at all but simply a presence. Or maybe there's nothing for all I frickin' know but I believe because I want to.
I quit believing in religion so long ago because even as a little kid I couldn't understand that if a "god" was good like every religion claims theirs to be, why would he send anyone to damnation or condemn anybody for not choosing the right path simply because we grew up on a different culture or different beliefs? If you choose to be good people then wtf does it matter what customs you follow or who you call your higher power? "Be a good person", thats my religion. I think thats the one thing you can never go wrong with & if we do get damned for that, then maybe "god" really was an asshole after all & fine, I wouldn't wanna he his friend anyway 🤷
All just rambling mumbo jumbo so I'm sorry for that. But it still shocks me to think that my grandma thought the same way as me. & I was once told by someone in the family that I was her favorite grandchild even though we never got to know each other like I wished.
She was a writer & a thinker like me. She always had what everybody needed, said what needed to be said, & always gave to everyone while asking nothing in return. I strive to be like that too without even realizing it.
I tried to take my life the night of her funeral & it wasn't about her.. I was just broken. I saw her arms as I woke back up though. I always say that but I know people may or may not believe that part. But I feel like she's been with me ever since. Damn how I wish we could have a conversation 😔
Since we humans have been around for over 5 thousand years, we have been evolving. Some of us for better, some of us getting worse. Religious practices help some people follow certain guidelines meant to keep us safe and somewhat orderly. That in itself isn’t perfect. Whatever religeon you practice, if you are seeking truth, it does begin with knowing yourself.before you can truly understand anything. I agree there are many words for Go and prayer. The Christian (New Testament) is an attempt to break reliance on others (priests and other religious personnel) and instead directly pray.. it’s an effort that can lead to a more honest understanding of truth. But earth and the universe and humans and life in general has so many layers, and everything has a purpose. When we don’t value someone or something later thru science we can become aware of its significance. Although all things are different they all have a purpose. A life. Maybe a flower gets angry when a bee pollinates it, how do we know. We simply know that both have a purpose. What about the pain abcatepillar goes the when it creates a grotesque pupa and morphs into a gorgeous butterfly only to live about three months. All that I’m saying is that we are now understanding some of the little creatures, some of the layers of life Thru science. We are just now beginning to. See that even solid inanimate objects at the atomic level have life. Don’t feel bad about what you don’t know. If you are seeking truth you will understand as you walk this journey we call life. you can feel decent about it if your practicing goodwill towards others. But the questions are meant to be eternal. You are lucky that you realize you don’t know everything. This means you can learn new things. There are people who think they know everything, and they make themselves blind. Our ancestors have done their best to pass along what they understood, and what helped them. I have excellent role models in religeon so it has always made sense (based on human Lives) to keep faith, BUT that does not mean I believe everything as it is read to me. I ask God to open my mind to the truth. And to protect me against those who wish to harm me. But now it’s time to accept his guidance to help others and that scared me to death. I am not sure that I CAN be reliable leader. But I do have some pretty radical ideas. Thanks for sharing your “non-religious” faith. Believing in a higher power is key. And believing in your power is also key. The prophets/disciples are role models of that which matters and how we should treat one another. The Bible is the most progressive faith. But I do believe humans need or want more. We don’t need more, but we crave more. So we interpret more. Some of these interpretations are legitimate, and others are not. Going to a faith based church is like excercising your spiritual mind. Keeping yourself in check, agreeing to stand together. Anyhow… now I’m rambling. Buda was deep, and led to enlightenment but then led to nowhere, Jesus was practical, and keep enlightenment and living in this world relevant which helped both communities and the church to keep going. Sadly, greedy people always find excuses to ignore kindness and embrace greed. It’s human nature.I do not believe I am living the best version of myself, but I aspire to.life is tough and inner conflict is a challenge. So, I admire you for fighting yourself and others to become the best version of yourself. I am glad someone out there is turning his own world around. Just by being honest with yourself. May you never look down or back, and if you do, May you keep looking forward.
@Foreverconfused i like the way you think & this was really interesting to read. I'd probably put more thought into my words back to you if it wasn't 2am rn & I wasn't laying down super tired. Thanks for commenting & putting so much thought into it
@ChiefJustWalks it’s alright! Lol! And yes, I prayed asked “God” to help me the best words for sharing with you. I can only hope it s meaningful someway.
The main problem with religion and all that holy crap is there are too many inconsistencies. The religious types will tell you that everything that tempts us is a test. Well he already knows we're going to screw up so why test it to begin with? Thing is that sometimes things will happen to religious people and then they start to question what they really believe. When I was in elementary school we had religious education, and of course the sins that we were told were things like drinking smoking getting in fights stealing killing and merely getting angry. Yet the religious people I knew were the angryist people out there. That's what made me question things.
@CestManan I would agree with all of that & those are more of the thoughts I've always had as well. Like if God already knows, then there's no reason to teat us unless he were just doing it for entertainment or just playing with us. I've had thoughts before too like "psh what someone just created us as a side hobby or some shit & we dont even matter. Or worse, we're a forgotten project that sits around still until we all die off on our own" 😅
Those are just random thoughts but it could all be true just as easily as it couldn't be 🤷
You’ve made some good points. I enjoyed reading this (: And I always thought the same on if God is truly real although there are these expectations and rules he goes by that determines whether or not you’re worthy of going to a better place who the hell would want to be friends or acquainted with someone who had that mentality. 😅? Simply refusing someone of better because of their culture, beliefs, and who they are as a person ? Sounds like an awful person to have to be around tbh lol.
You grandma sounds so cool. Now I just picture a bad ass oldie you 🤭 What prevented you from getting to know her better ?
@Stark yeah I've always felt thag way & questioned it even when I was a kid. But when I asked adults that question, nobody ever had an answer or anything so I always had this fear in the back of my head of "what if I lived my whole life based on one religion then I die & find out I was in the wrong one?" I was literally only 8 years old thinking like that idk why. But its still a good question tbh.
But aw thank you 🤗 I only hope I'm cool when I'm old lol. I never really got to know her though because shes my mom's mom. Since I didn't grow up with my mom, I missed out on getting to be part of her aide of the family. Then by the time I was able to have a relationship with my mom one day, by then her family didn't talk to her anymore & she didn't talk to them. So part of me was angry at her family for being so distant, & for viewing my mom the way they do. So they would tey to reach out sometimes & I'd push them away. But also growing up after our mom left, our dad tried to keep her family included in our lives but after his new wife got in a fight with one of my moms sisters, that was all ended. So our dad rarely allowed us to see our moms side of the family anymore either after that. To this day it's still always hard for us to be close & bridge that gap thats been created over so long.
My other two siblings still feel some hurt by that side of the family for us not being included in many things still, but I don't feel that way anymore. I used to. But I understand things a lot better than I used to & I love them all & simply wish we were closer
