I'm Kind of Scared...

I have been questioning a lot since the divorce between my parents. Dad has left the house and is living on his own, my middle brother who's schizoaffective lives in his car right outside the house, my other brother lives downstairs, and mom lives in the room right next to me. Dad cheated and I find it hard to remember much else about the way dad was with us. He did seem a bit of a narc though - never wrong, twisted arguments onto the other person, then console them and pretend like nothing ever happened, shoved all the wrong I'd ever done up to that point in my face when questioning them in any way, etc.

But here's where I'm worried - my mom is either slowly exhibiting more of these things or they're becoming more apparent now that two of the people that mom considered to be a problem are no longer living in the house with us. I'd like to think that I'm a somewhat patient guy, but my mom has been gaslighting me recently to try and get a rise out of me. There have been times in the past couple of weeks where I wouldn't do something that she wanted me to do simply because I've been feeling depressed and lethargic. She would then get angry at me about it, I'd ask her not to do this right now, and she'd keep doing the same thing, swearing at me more and more until I yelled back or went to my room or left the house. I personally hate being called a bitch or when she asks "Oh, are you mad? Awwww you're mad" when I'm clearly angry.

This is frustrating and scary because I have always been the one that defended her and ran to her side whenever she has been distressed. Screaming and crying when I found the pills dad was using in a jacket he gave me? I was there when everyone else fled the house or went to their rooms. Middle brother drunk and high, threatening mom and running at her, screaming at her, saying he's gonna rape and kill everyone? I'm there to be a mediator and defend and play witness. Anytime she's been distressed, I've been empathetic and tried to help, dropping everything I'm doing in the process. But when I show distress even after asking for space or for it to stop? Aggression, persistence, disdain/disapproval.

So when I start work June 7th til the end of the summer, I'll be actively saving to leave, getting rid of my belongings I no longer want gradually to make room for the things I'll need most.